Towel. the great and useful wonders of,
Created | Updated Apr 16, 2002
For a start I would probably have died of water-assisted electric shock, or pneumonia.
Anyway a towel is as Douglas Adams said, "the single most important thing in the universe" (I can't recreate anymore, buy the book!)
Well now you can relax because here is the definitive guide to towels.
1: First and foremost have a BIG towel. It must be thick, absorbant and blue. That way you can use it for a huge variety of purposes and still wrap yourself in it when night envelopes its black wings around you.
2: Develop a good strong wrist, (right that's it! Stop sniggering in the back there!) Develop a good strong wrist in order to employ towel flicking. This is highly useful for attracting attention. On the other hand it is highly dangerous as it may attract attention. The skill lies in differentiating between the two situations of attention attracting.
3: Be prepared to tear it. Don't take your prized swimming towel with all the little bits on it. All the badges and stuff don't impress anyone. Instead take a battered tiny towel with you, love and cherish it as any towel but be prepared to destroy it for the sake of human life.
There are many, many, many, many other uses for a towel, for some look up the hitch-hiker's trilogy (hexology?) make up your own. Improvise.