h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

On my wedding day, the wedding party will get to the church 1 hour early, and all the pictures (including the groom and myself) will be taken in advance so as not to make the guests wait after. I want to be at my reception enjoying it! The groom will be lead in to a private room and we will spend 15 minutes toether before taking pictures to see each other for the first time. I find that terribly more exciting than trying to gadge his reaction in front of 300 people and smile and pose at the same time for everyone. Any pictures needed of family not there early will be taken in a photojournalistic style at the reception. I know I'll enjoy those more anyway than stiff poses.
15 minutes before the cermony, a screen will drop from the ceiling, and the guests will be shown photos of my fiancee and myself growing up with soft music to listen to in an attempt to entertain them while they wait. The mothers will be seated promptly, and I will walk in promptly also.
There will be no communion taking with a long song to be played with weird moments of us standing and staring at each other in front of 300 people . This is a seperate, personal cermony for me that has nothing to do with getting married. The same goes for the unity candle. It is just symbolism, and what do you think the marriage cermony stands for anyway?
There will be no songs played during the cermony for those long weird moments of staring at each other. I know people want to play their special songs, but that's best done at the reception where people can at least have a long drink while listening to it!
When it is over, we will walk straight down to the reception room and cut the cake so our guests can immediatly have a piece and not have to wait for it. We will then throw the garter and bouquet. Then, we can relax! We've done all the tradition crap, and now we can greet our guests individually and have a good time! Everyone is free to go if they want to in less than an hour!
I guarantee they will all thank me!

We didn't have our photos taken at the church but at a neighbouring park where there was a playground, so none of the children got bored while they were being taken. It was fairly informal, too, so the adults used it as an opportunity to socialise and I don't think anyone minded the length of time it took.