Geelong is the second largest city in the state of Victoria, Australia, which doesn't stop Europeans looking at the residents as if they've said they come from a small moon orbiting Neptune until they mention that it's an hour's drive from Melbourne. It has a population of around 200,000 and the people in Geelong are pleasant enough, as long as you don't interact with them.

Geelong is situated on the polluted Corio Bay that is part of the larger Port Philip Bay. It is surrounded by a Shell oil refinery, a Ford motor car factory and its associated industries, the Alcoa aluminium smelter, and Deaknin University, as well as two cement factories. The air is probably more polluted than the water, and on some days you can tell just by looking at it.

Nearby are supposedly some of the world's best beaches for surfing at Torquay and Jan Juc. If you're driving from Melbourne through to the surf beaches stop in Geelong to smell the shopping malls. It may not have culture, style, or atmosphere, but you certainly won't forget your visit.

Geelong is a lovely town to make a bus tour to, as long as you don't stop there too long - one well-known Australian travel guide describes Geelong as 'a place one must drive through if one wishes to get to the Great Ocean Road', but this is unfair and unjust - you don't have to drive through the city, there are plenty of roads around it.

Geelong is home to an Australian rules football team, strangely enough bearing the city's name. Some claim it is also home to the first roundabout in the southern hemisphere and also the home of the refrigerator.

And the city's slogan? 'Geelong - smart move'. Seriously. Smart? Move away.

The Rebar Night-club

The Rebar is a night-club in Geelong, which occupies the building formerly known as the Preston Hotel. Inside the building it is separated into two floors - the lower of which closes at 5am and has a couple of live bands during the night and is set up for people who like rock music; the upper floor which closes at anywhere between 7am and 8am plays techno, dance, drum and bass and other forms of electronic music. The lower floor consists of a bar, pool table area, a small dance floor, small stage, a bar and a tabled area to eat at. Upstairs only consists of three parts - a reasonably sized (and often crowded) dance floor with two bars either side of it, a section with couches where those who have picked up a partner go to get better acquainted and a small room with a bar in it called the Cigar Bar.

The Cigar Bar earns its name by being the only place in the club where you can buy cigars. If you are ever in Geelong and up for a big night always finish the night off by going to the Rebar as it is usually a great night out. A tip, though, is to remember not to have a rest or lay down your head because if the bouncers catch you having a bit of a nap they will kick you out.