The Quitters' Clinic

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This is the page for anyone who has anything to do with giving up smoking. Whether you're thinking about giving up, have given up or are currently embroiled in the whole nightmare process of giving up1, this is for you. You can help or be helped. Share your triumphs over the evil weed or weep at your failings as you get up at 3 a.m. to head for the 24 hour garage and set up a week of regret. We all understand. We have been there. We know.


Please don't use this page if you have a beef about smokers. This is, quite simply, a help and support place for those who want to give up and for those that can do the helping. It's hard enough for those that have developed a habit without bringing in ethical issues. Respect that; if you want to discuss bans on smoking in public places or subsidies for Greek tobacco farmers, you'll find the Forum is a great place to stir up lively debate. smiley - ta

The Quitters


This page has been set up by Skankyrich, currently in the throes of nicotine withdrawal. He has been smoking since the age of fourteen, exactly 50% of his life, and made a decision to try to cut down to no fags per day2 for the rest of his life on December 7th, 2004. Having a habit of over thirty roll-ups a day, this will be no mean feat.


Join the list of Quitters below for love, hugs and general confiscation of lighters by completing the form below. Complete as much or as little as you like; we can link to your personal space and/or add a short biog as above so the h2g2 community can give you its full support.


Name and U-number:
How many a day:
Date decided to quit:
Smoking history:
Needs help with:
Anything else:

The Quittees


Although thin on the ground at the moment, as this page was only born around Christmas 2004, the following researchers have managed to give up smoking with the help of the h2g2 Community. To qualify for an as-yet undecided/designed badge to stick on your PS, you will need to post on this page the day of your last cigarette and go at least two months 'clean'. Smoking without inhaling, smoking in the pub, smoking pipes and standing upwind of smokers while inhaling deeply are all cheating. We can forgive a lapse in this probationary period as long as you let us know about it so that we can use the circumstances to improve our knowledge base for further quittees3. It's a policy of honesty, really.


If you have posted regularly during your giving up period, maybe kept a Journal of your failings and successes, and added to the sum knowledge of h2g2's Quitters we will consider you for the Expert Advisory Panel, which sounds really, really important. Quitting is incredible, to be able to arm others with the ability to quit themselves really is something else.

Expert Advisory Panel


For various reasons, the following have been selected to act as special advisors to Quitters. They may not appear as Quittees because (a) they gave up before this page was envisaged (b) they have never smoked but have valuable information to share or (c) the Trustees happen to think they deserve to be here.

The Resident Experts


If you've been signposted to this page as a potential Quitter, Quittee or an Expert and haven't been mentioned, let me know if you want a smoking biog or link to be included.

  • If you had seen what Z has seen, you would be inventing a time machine so you could go back and knock your own lights out before you lit that first fag. He will put you in the picture with regard to medical affairs quicker than you can say 'disrupted respiratory bronchioles'.
  • Most visitors to this page will give up smoking with the help of h2g2, but Lil ol' me has to be the ultimate, discovering h2g2 in a non-smoking upstairs room while quitting the habit. An inspiration, especially at low moments when her plentiful supply of smiley - hug's keep the most intense of cravings at bay.
  • If you keep quitting quitting then look no further than Kat. She's here to drag you kicking and screaming back to your good resolve to quit. She has not only quit smoking in her time, but cutting, drink, tablets, and Marks and Spencer's sandwiches. Anywhere you are, any time of day, Kat is here to silently ghost up behind you and *snip*...your cigerette is gone, your lighter is gone, and you're wondering what you were doing. She's always here to talk and is brimful of encouraging remarks and suggestions. If you don't warm to Kat's methods, you've probably forgotten how to breathe.


Please feel free to nominate yourself or anyone else for any of these member categories. Anyone who wants to be involved at any stage should be. I'd like to keep this just for those trying to beat the habit rather than it become a 'smoking central' for debate about fat men blowing smoke at bartenders and suchlike. But the more contributors, the merrier.

Debates and support


If you are giving up, please start or join a conversation with other users by completing a form below or joining in a conversation at the bottom of the page. And smiley - goodluck, by the way!


Name and U-number:
I'm going mad without a fag because....

Other information


The best 'How To Give Up' article ever written4 is, fortuitously enough, on h2g2 and called Giving Up Smoking, it's well worth reading up on Tobacco Smoke if you need a reminder of what you're doing to yourself.

It wouldn't be hootoo without balance. Therefore, to get both sides of the argument, best go to Cigarettes. It's a good one to make you think why you would want to start in the first place.

1Non-smokers; do not underestimate this task. It's like giving up belief in gravity.2The suggestion of actually 'giving up' permanently gives him the willies.3The only definate exception, where a non-smoker can smoke, is a large cigar smoked in joy to celebrate the birth of one's child. It would be churlish to deny the ultimate pleasure during the ultimate celebration.4For a desperate smoker, it is the best article ever written about anything ever. It is like reading the last words of God to his creation.

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