Harry Hill
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Before he became a comedy writer and stand-up performer, he trained as a doctor at St George's Hospital, Tooting, south London where he appeared in revue shows in the double act, The Hall Brothers. However, he gave up medicine and turned to professional comedy in 1990 and then a T.V. series, a big tour coming up and tomorrow, the world!
Some of Harry’s deepest and most political, satirical, original, brilliant, revolutionary thoughts include:
‘Ah Mr Lemon, why your juices so sharp?’
‘Hamburgers, beef does all the work, pork gets all the credit.’
‘If you get a letter and you don't know who it's from, just run after the postman and shout "1471"!’
‘My Dad kept bees, not for the honey, no, for the fur!’
‘My Dad was a mean man, he hypnotised my mother not to order a starter!’
‘My father used to like my mother to get dressed up as a nurse. Then he used to like her to go out to work... as a nurse! Brought in some extra money...’
‘My father used to say to me always fight fire with fire. And that's why he was thrown out of the fire brigade.’
‘Of course if you drop a bible from a height you can kill a field mouse; so maybe the bible isn't all good.’
‘Someone tell Walkers crisps that it's green for cheese and onion.’
‘Swan - long neck! Goose - long neck! Owl - short neck, but swivels round!
‘Oh Mrs Ashdown, why your boy's face so dry and wrinkled?’
‘Oh Mr Dutch Elm... Why so many die?’
‘Oh Mrs Hitler, why your boy he turn out so bad?’
‘Oh Mr Melon, why your rind so thick?’
‘Oh Mr Raisin - so dry - so dry.’
‘Oh Mr Raspberry, why are you so hairy?’
‘Oh Mr Sycamore tree, why you produce so much sap?’
‘Isn't it annoying when you are shopping with your nan and she's going "Shoot me! Shoot me! I'm slowing you down!".’
‘A dolphin will jump out of the water for a piece of fish, imagine what he'd do for some chips.’
Well if your funny bone has been rattled by all this then check out www.harryhill.com or buy a video or something. If not then buy a plaster cast for it.
By King Lawnmower