Doctor, Doctor Jokes
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Back to So Long, And Thanks For Laughing
Doctor Doctor Jokes
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm going blind!
This is the butcher's shop, Sir.
Doctor, Doctor, I keep hearing music!
Take the band off your hat.
Doctor, Doctor, why do I keep hearing numbers instead of words?
Must be something you 8.
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a golf club!
Get a grip on yourself!
Doctor, Doctor, I can't wait to go into hospital!
Just be patient, madam.
Doctor, Doctor, if you don't do something for these spots now, I'll...
Now, now, Sir, don't do something rash...
DOCTOR, DOCTOR! I THINK I'M A HI-FI!
Well, you're certainly a loud speaker...
Doctor, Doctor, I keep dreaming about horses!
Are they nightmares?
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a tree.
You must be pining for something.
Doctor, Doctor, will I be able to do the cha-cha after the operation?
No, you'll have to wait until you go home.
Doctor, Doctor, how can I avoid falling hair?
Step out of the way.
Doctor, Doctor, nobody takes me seriously.
That's the funniest thing I've heard in years!
Doctor, Doctor, how do I avoid that run-down feeling?
Look both ways before crossing the road.
Doctor, Doctor, would you give me something for my feet?
I wouldn't take them as a gift!
Doctor, Doctor, I think I need glasses!
I could tell the moment you walked through the window.
Doctor, Doctor, could you help me out?
Certainly, which way did you come in?
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a dog!
Sit down and tell me all about it.
I can't! I'm not allowed on the furniture.
Doctor, Doctor, what's the best cure for acid indigestion?
Stop drinking acid.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm invisible.
Who said that?!?!?
Doctor, Doctor, everyone ignores me.
Next!
Doctor, Doctor, my boy has swallowed my pen! What shall I do??!
Use a pencil until I get there.
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a pack of cards.
Sit down and I'll deal with you later.
Doctor, Doctor, I keep stealing things!
Have you taken anything for it?
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a cricket bat.
How's that?
Oh, don't you start!
Doctor, Doctor, I keep thinking I'm a goat.
Have you been feeling this way long?
Ever since I was a kid.
Doctor, Doctor, everyone thinks I'm a liar.
Come, now, I don't believe that.
Doctor, Doctor, come quick! My husband's broken his leg!
But I'm a doctor of music!
That's okay, it was the piano that fell on him.
Doctor, Doctor, I keep losing my memory.
When did this start to happen?
When did what start to happen?
Doctor, Doctor, I can't get to sleep!
Lie on the end of the bed and you'll soon drop off.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a kettle.
The Doctor's out at the moment. Pour yourself over these magazines until he returns.
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a curtain.
Pull yourself together, man!
Doctor, Doctor, I feel like a lightbulb!
Whatever turns you on...
Doctor, Doctor, I think I'm a fish!
There's nothing wrong with you - go back to school.