h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Having tap faucets that drip and drop can be a real drag. If you are out your budget, and need to do some handy home repairs, arm yourself with the following tools:
hammer
crescent wrench
sandwich
plaster sealant
paper clips.
then procede to the dripping tap. Use the paper clips to clean away the grime at the base of the pipes. use the crescent wrench to tighten the bolts where the grime was. After you have tightened all of the once-grimy bolts, then apply a thin coat of the plaster sealant. If you cannot get your hands on plaster sealant, try rubber cement instead. It will do the same job, which is to hold the water in the pipe. If the pipes are still dripping, begin precussive maintenance with the hammer. Try to aim your blows (gently!) towards the parts of the pipe that leak. Try hitting it from all angles, but don't take out all of your frustrations on the pipes. Otherwise, you will have to call in a plumber who will charge you 300 pounds to do the same thing.

When all pipes have stopped dripping, congratulate yourself, and have your sandwich.

Whatever you do, don't try to turn the tap off hard to stop the drip..... it'll make the drip worse in the long run.

Joanna (speaking from parental experience)

Boy, ain't that the truth!