Drivers Content from the guide to life, the universe and everything


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'Driver' -a word with several meanings, not one of which is related to another. Here you'll find several interpretations of this gem of the English language.

Driving Miss Daisy

A driver can be the operator of a moving vehicle, such as a donkey, horse, or lawn tractor. If you don't want to become a driver yourself, you can let other people do it by riding in a taxi. Beware of those who drive these yellow cabs, especially as they like to force their beliefs upon those who ride with them, even though you're paying them for the experience. If you'd rather drive yourself, be sure you do it well, because if you are not driving well enough then the drivers of police cars will make you ride with them in an attempt to teach you how to drive properly. It is unknown who gave these people that right, as they often aren't very good drivers themselves.


A driver is also one of the sticks used in the game of golf to hit a poor innocent white ball several feet in the air in the attempt to get it stuck in a sand pit or a small pond specifically designed with the torture of golf balls in mind. If the driver doesn't perform as well as the golfer should have, then it is often broken in half in a show of frustration. Usually in such cases the golf ball still doesn't get out of having to be thrown through the air by either another driver or some other club.

Computer Jargon

Drivers are small bits of software that accompany most hardware, designed only with your confusion and frustration in mind. Often drivers will have conflicts with other drivers and play mean tricks on you like unregistering themselves at the worst possible moments. In an ideal world computers wouldn't need drivers at all.

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