Once again we are beholden to the current executors of the Knolly estate for letting us publish this, the second package of the great man's journals and memoirs.

Elspeth gathered up her charge, escorting her out of the room to get her changed into proper clothes that would be more suited to travelling around in a cab.

'I think we should take her back to John's. I don't think Auntie is ready for her just yet,' she said over her shoulder.

'Oh! Can't she stay here the night?' asked an out-of-breath Louis. The young lad took in the scene and then asked anyone who was listening, 'Why is Mr 'arisson-'arrison on the floor?'

'I'm sure that Charlie would love to stay,' said Elspeth, 'but she has had a very busy day for one who is not yet used to company. I think resting in her normal home surroundings would be for the best.'

'I concur with that,' nodded Hobbes in a sage way. 'Also, you and I have work to do, Louis — not least to get that automobile ready for more than just the King's Highway.'

'What? Eh? I don't remember agreeing to that!' I spluttered, suddenly alarmed by the direction the conversation had taken.

'My dear Knolly, I think that it would be very useful if you had your own method of transportation once you arrive in Scotland and did not have to rely on the locals,' explained Hobbes.

Bertie (now standing and dusting himself down once more) chipped in. 'He has a point, Knolly. The Train can only take us so far, after all. But tell me, Hobbes, what modifications do you intend to make?'

'Oh, nothing too extravagant will be required. Bit more speed… beef up the springs — oh, and I think that we can do something about making the gears change more quickly.'

'So that will mean leaving my vehicle here… with you and Louis?'

Hobbes looked at Bertie, who shrugged. 'Yes, that's true,' they replied in unison.

'Oh!' was all I could reply. I had visions of my automobile being dismantled by Hobbes and Louis. Then I imagined them failing in efforts to rebuild it after having become distracted by some other newer invention with which they would tinker.

Elspeth, who had been 'talking' with Charlie all this time and obviously listening in, made a very unsympathetic noise that shook me out of my daydream.

'Knolly, it's an object for transportation, not a person! What is it with you and your toys?'

I looked at the floor. She was of course right, but I appealed to her nonetheless. 'But I've only had it a day! I haven't even given it a name yet!'

Bertie smiled. 'It will be all right, Knolly! I'll be here with them too.'

Unfortunately, this did not make things better in my view… but needs must and all that. I sighed. 'Fine, but if you are going to make changes, can you please see about adding a phonograph? It will be nice to have some music while driving around. Bertie and I were discussing it before Elspeth arrived.'

Louis beamed at this request. 'Well, if Mr 'arrison-'arrison thinks it's a good idea, I'll see what I can do.'

I blinked to Bertie, 'HE REALLY NEEDS TO BE TOLD WHO IS IN CHARGE YOU KNOW'

'Well, that's that bit sorted out,' said Elspeth rather cheerily. 'Come along, Charlotte! Time to make you presentable once more.' And with that, the ladies swept out.

'"Do you really think we can get my car on the Train, Hobbes?' I asked.

He nodded. 'Yes… although I think the question that remains to be answered is whether or not we can use the Train.'

'Indeed. I need to go back to town with the ladies and discuss this with Bigfatt before going home. Hobbes, can you get Merrick on your telephone thingy and get him to write that note to Conan Doyle with regards to getting us introduced to the marine scientist fellow? Oh, and tell him that we'll be bring Charlotte back in an hour or so.'

'What do you want me to do, Knolly?' asked Bertie.

'You can pop along up to the main road and see if you can spot a cab looking for a fare. Of course, we could go by train, but let's use a method of travel that Charlie has already used today.'

So Bertie promptly left us and I watched him from the window as he went off up the hill to flag down a cab. Hobbes bustled about, tidying up any mess he thought needed tidying up in an attempt to avoid making eye contact with me. I knew he was still angry regarding our earlier conversation about taking Charlotte along with us. I had hoped that we had moved on from the subject, but from his demeanour, this obviously was not the case. Louis was still in the room and shifted nervously from foot to foot, sensing something was not quite right between Hobbes and me. I tried to lighten the atmosphere.

'So, Louis! Do you think you can make the changes that we have suggested?'

'I think so, Mr Knolly,' replied Louis. 'The tricky one will be the gear ratios.' He spoke eagerly, happy that someone had noticed him at last.

'Oh, I would have thought the portable music player would have given you the bigger problem?'

'Not at all! Mr 'obbes has something similar in the chicken shed to help the birds improve their egg laying.'

I looked to Hobbes, who just waggled his eyebrows. I looked in the direction that the eyebrows were pointing — Elspeth was standing in the doorway.

'I fail to see why my husband needs to improve his egg-laying capabilities, Louis,' she said in a stern voice. 'I am with child, after all.' She emphasised this last statement by lightly tapping her tummy with both palms.

Hobbes coughed very loudly and Louis blushed scarlet. 'I'll go and see where Mr 'arrison-'arrison has got to with fetchin' a cab, shall I?' And off he went down the stairs. Charlotte was behind Elspeth and made to give chase, but Elspeth grabbed her hand quickly and held fast. Charlotte gave a yowl and tried to pull away — at which Elspeth gave her a yank back and a sharp smack on the head with her free hand.

'Was that necessary?' I asked, seeing that the young lady was in some distress.

'Indeed yes, Knolly. Your wife is head cat and Charlotte needs to know this.'

'Really? So m'dear, does that make me head cat too?'

Elspeth grinned and translated this into hand signals for Charlotte, who cheered up immediately and proceeded to giggle in a very girly way while signing back to Elspeth. Feeling very out of place, I looked across to Hobbes for support; instead, I saw him trying not to laugh by stuffing a handkerchief into his mouth.

'I'm sorry, is there something I have missed?' I asked of all assembled. 'Would someone care to let me in on the joke?'

Trying to keep a straight face, Elspeth took me to one side and whispered in my ear. I could feel the embarrassment rising up from my boots and hitting my ears to make them feel hot to the touch.

Alas, dear reader I cannot tell you what she told me — except to say from a feline perspective (which is all to do with genitalia and bottoms) it would seem that even Bertie is higher up the scale than me.

Charlie (having finished her giggling and now fully clothed) suddenly became very alert. A few minutes later, we heard the arrival of our cab; from the window, we could see both Bertie and Louis hanging on to the outside, laughing fit to bust. It would seem that most everyone was having a good time, save for me.

Pulling myself together, I turned to Hobbes. 'Right ho! I shall send a telegram to your good self once I have spoken with Biggfat, but I rather hope that we should be off to Scotland within three or four days.'

'Your carriage awaits, ladies!' announced Bertie with a bow and a flourish as he and Louis appeared at the top of the stairs. Elspeth proceeded to load Bertie and Louis with various shopping purchases; with Charlotte in tow, she marshalled them back outside to the waiting hansom. As Charlotte appeared, the horse's eyes started to roll wildly and its legs started to shake. The cabbie also seemed to be having a devil of a time holding the beast back. This, I could see, was going to be a challenge that we would have to work though.

I helped Elspeth inside and offered my hand to Charlotte; she just looked at it and then clambered in beside my wife. Bertie and Louis then proceeded to pass the in the bags of shopping, the contents of which had yet to see the light of day.

I turned then to Bertie, only to see Hobbes running towards us. 'Don't you want to take these?' he hollered as he waved the balaclava and armoured gauntlets.

I looked at Elspeth inside the cab. 'Take them, to keep him happy,' she mouthed. I nodded.

'Of course, silly me! Thank you, Hobbes.' I caught Bertie a quick kick on the back of the leg to save him from completing the sentence that he started with 'But I thought...' and failed to complete with '… that we weren't going to take that useless paraphernalia', which would have dropped us all into trouble with the ageing inventor.

'Right, we're off! Bertie, keep an eye on these two. Not too many changes to the vehicle, eh? And don't forget that you are in charge of packing. We'll need the usual stuff, but it's likely to be colder up there, so use your noggin.'

'AND WHAT ABOUT WEAPONS,' he blinked so as not to alarm the others.

'I WILL FIRST CHECK THE ARSENAL ON BOARD THE TRAIN AND LET YOU KNOW,' I replied.

Bertie saluted (he was getting much better these days) and Louis felt it only right and proper to do the same. I declined to salute back and just got in the cab and banged on the roof.

'Driver! Admiralty Arch, please. Quick as you like!' The cab leapt away form the kerbside, the horse obviously wanting to get away from the strange passenger as soon as it could. Poor Elspeth! She was not having a good day on the roads at all. Charlotte, however, had happily put her head out of the window until she was pulled back in and her hat slapped back on. This was going to be a very quick journey, make no mistake.

The Great Knolly Archive

The Shepherd and
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