Lunatics
Created | Updated Dec 29, 2002
While my previous entry (http://www.h2g2.com/A164341) talked about humans, and their tendancy for stupidity, This guide entry is a step further, and is all about human tendacies for lunacy.
You'll be surprised how common it is.
You'd normally think that Sheer Lunacy is only found in the expected institutions; Hospitals, Insane Asylums, Parliament. But Lunatics are walking around all over the place, even as we speak (well, read, or type in my case, but let's not get caught up in technicalities)
If you had some sort of Lunatic-sensitive glasses, and you put them on in a regular city street, you'd be surprised at what you saw. Especially if you were near a reflective surface.
Full scale lunatics are fairly easy to find. If you were to throw an average brick in an average city street, and hit an average innocent bystander, bingo! You're a lunatic. How dare you throw bricks in public anyway?, I may add. Who do you think you are?
But your boss/spouse/friend/co-worker/annoying relative is most likely a lunatic, too. Follow them around often to see if they show any of the tell tale signs of Lunacy;
1) Paranoia
2) Annoyance of being followed by you (They're being anti-social, obviously)
3) Getting restraining orders out on you
You can usually calm these types of people by saying reasuring things like:
"Hey, Your eyes look funny, I'd better take you to a hospital" (offer to give them a ride in/on/under/attached to your car/truck/bike/skateboard/hearse/lawn mower. If they refuse, knock them out, and take them to the local police station. Inform the police that you knocked them out because you didn't like the look in their eyes)
"Here, take this" (offer towel)
"No need for violence, I could kill you with one blow"
Lunatics tend to congregate in houses, workplaces, Bungee jumping centres, and Law firms. Be on the look out.
Note: You can usually flush them out by wearing a towel on your head (preferably a fairly large and garish one). Normal people will usually say something along the lines of "Why the !@$% do you have a towel on your head?!?!". The Semi-Lunatics will simply ignore you.
The proper lunatics will ask you where they can get one.
You'll be surprised how common it is.
You'd normally think that Sheer Lunacy is only found in the expected institutions; Hospitals, Insane Asylums, Parliament. But Lunatics are walking around all over the place, even as we speak (well, read, or type in my case, but let's not get caught up in technicalities)
If you had some sort of Lunatic-sensitive glasses, and you put them on in a regular city street, you'd be surprised at what you saw. Especially if you were near a reflective surface.
Full scale lunatics are fairly easy to find. If you were to throw an average brick in an average city street, and hit an average innocent bystander, bingo! You're a lunatic. How dare you throw bricks in public anyway?, I may add. Who do you think you are?
But your boss/spouse/friend/co-worker/annoying relative is most likely a lunatic, too. Follow them around often to see if they show any of the tell tale signs of Lunacy;
1) Paranoia
2) Annoyance of being followed by you (They're being anti-social, obviously)
3) Getting restraining orders out on you
You can usually calm these types of people by saying reasuring things like:
"Hey, Your eyes look funny, I'd better take you to a hospital" (offer to give them a ride in/on/under/attached to your car/truck/bike/skateboard/hearse/lawn mower. If they refuse, knock them out, and take them to the local police station. Inform the police that you knocked them out because you didn't like the look in their eyes)
"Here, take this" (offer towel)
"No need for violence, I could kill you with one blow"
Lunatics tend to congregate in houses, workplaces, Bungee jumping centres, and Law firms. Be on the look out.
Note: You can usually flush them out by wearing a towel on your head (preferably a fairly large and garish one). Normal people will usually say something along the lines of "Why the !@$% do you have a towel on your head?!?!". The Semi-Lunatics will simply ignore you.
The proper lunatics will ask you where they can get one.
