h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

With reference to the blurb for this article on the front page, I'd just like to point out that the word "marriage" does NOT, in fact, have the same number of letters as "wedding", "run away" and "leg iron". "Marriage" has eight letters, the others have seven.
Sorry to be pedantic. I think I'm just taking my disappointment out on you because nobody's proposed to me yet.

I will, if you like but I'd warn you not to take it seriously. I'm just loath to let another leap year go by with out at least having a go.

All right, but I want a good sales pitch here. Tell me why you'd make a wonderful wife. I mean, you might have ulterior motives! You might just be dreaming of a huge, multi-tiered wedding cake...

Me! Me! That was me! Give me that black spot against my name, it's mine, all mine!

Sorry 'bout that. I started with 'marriage' and 'leg irons' but decided that quoting two pairs stretched the joke out too far... but in combining them I accidentally left 'marriage' in the equation while shortening my 'leg irons' to the singlular. Spot the human, then.

Darn. Now I've been unmasked as a commitment-paranoid bachelor. It's probably because I just haven't found Miss Right yet.

This is not an invitation to apply.

Well, that doesn't bother me, Mark.
I just hope that poor Peta and Anna can cope with the disappointment.