Towelettes
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Towelettes are small, folded, textured white pieces of cloth that are soaked with alcohol and sealed in a foil-lined pouch. At least I think that's alcohol. In any case, whatever they're soaked with, it's pretty pungent and you could probably get drunk/high/dead off of it if you wanted. If you die, please tell us how it felt so we can keep this entry up to date.
Towelettes are useful to carry around when you are planning on spilling something unpleasant on yourself or another creature.
If you didn't _plan_ to spill something on yourself or that poor other creature, well, that's just poor judgment on your part and you're going to have to stay after school. :-(
Uses:
They're generally used for cleaning up barbecue sauce stains, blood, or anything else that's icky. Unlike your ever-faithful Towel, though, you probably wouldn't want to suck on it because you'd end up with the taste of the pungent alcoholic stuff in your mouth, which most people probably don't like.
Non-uses:
Contrary to popular opinion, towelettes are not a nutritionally viable substitute for breakfast danishes.
Fact:
If you had a sports team named The Towels, you could name the cheerleaders The Towelettes.
Towelettes are useful to carry around when you are planning on spilling something unpleasant on yourself or another creature.
If you didn't _plan_ to spill something on yourself or that poor other creature, well, that's just poor judgment on your part and you're going to have to stay after school. :-(
Uses:
They're generally used for cleaning up barbecue sauce stains, blood, or anything else that's icky. Unlike your ever-faithful Towel, though, you probably wouldn't want to suck on it because you'd end up with the taste of the pungent alcoholic stuff in your mouth, which most people probably don't like.
Non-uses:
Contrary to popular opinion, towelettes are not a nutritionally viable substitute for breakfast danishes.
Fact:
If you had a sports team named The Towels, you could name the cheerleaders The Towelettes.
