h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

SWORD OF DAMOCLES

The sword of Damocles is hanging over my head
And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread
Oh, woe is me
My life is a misery
And can't you see that I'm at the start of a really big downer

I woke up this morning with a start as I fell out of bed
(That aint no crime!) Good call starting a new thread dearie dear!

And left from my dreaming was a feeling of unnameable dread
(That ain't no crime)
My high is low, I'm dressed up wiht no place to go
And all I know is I'm at the star of a pretty big downer

Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime (x3)
That ain't no crime

The sword of damocles is hanging over my head
(That ain't no crime)
And I've got the feeling someone's gonna be cutting the thread
(That ain't no crime)
Oh, woe is me my life is a misery
And can't you see
That I'm at the start of a pretty big downer

Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime (Oh-no-no-no) (x3)
Sha-la-la-la that ain't no crime
That ain't no crime sha-la-la


I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN
A weakling weighing 98 pounds
Will get sand in his face when kicked to the ground

(when kick in the groin)

But soon in the gym, witha determined chin.
The sweat from is pores, as he works for is cau-haw-hause . . .
Will make him glisten, and gleam!
And with massage ... and just a little bit of stea-hea-heam...
Hill be Pink and quite Clean,
He'll be a strong man!
Oh Honey
But the wrong ma-an!

He'll eat nutricious, high protein
And swallow raw eggs
Try to build up his shoulders
His chest arems and legs
Such an effort!
If he only knew of my plan
In just seven days
I can make you a ma-ha-ha-ha-annn

He'll do press-ups
and chin-ups
do the snatch,
clean and jerk (off)
He thinks dynamic tension
Should be had work!

Such a strenuous effort I just don't understand
When in just seven days
Oh baby,
I can make you a ma-ha-ha-ha-an


HOT PATOOTIE - BLESS MY SOUL
What ever happened to Saturday night
when you dressed up sharp and you felt all right
It don't seem the smae since cosmic light
Came into my life
I though I was divine

Shelly love, you jumped the proverbial gun . . .

I dont want no disention...
Just dynamic tension
(sing it b*tch) Im a muscle fa-an!
Oh in just seven days (thats a week)
I can make you a ma-a-a-a-an
Dig it -if- you can-a-a-a-an!

oh in just seven days (thats a week)
I can make you a ma-a-a-a-an!!

Darn, knew it was bound to happen eventually... anyway

*returns after checking lyric book*

no, wait, that's the reprise after he kills Eddie

I used to go for for a ride with a chick who'd go
And listen to teh music on the radio
A saxophone was blowing a rock 'n' roll show
We climbed in the back seat
And really had a good time

Well, dont I feel like an ultra-yutz

Hot Patootie Bless my Soul!
I Really Love Rock and Roll!
Hot Patootie Bless my Soul!
I Really Love Rock and Roll!

My Head it Used to Swim From the Perfume I'd Smel't
My Hands Kind of Fumbled With the White Plastic Belt
I'd Taste Her Baby-Pink Lipstick and that's When I'd Melt
She'd Whispered in My Eardrum that She Really Was Mine....

(Is that right? I have no lyric book anymore, I lent it to a friend, BIG MISTAKE)

*perfecto-mundo*

Get back in the front and put some hair oil on
Buddy Holly was singing his very last song
With your arms around your girl you'd try to sing along
You felt pretty good... whooo!
Really had a good time

Hot patootie - bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n' roll
Hot patootie - bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n' roll
Hot patootie - bless my soul, I really love that rock 'n' roll

I CAN MAKE YOU A MAN: Reprise
can be found above....

TOUCH-A, TOUCH-A, TOUCH ME
*allow me to set the scene: 1:30am, four girls are walking home from the last train singing....*

I was feeling done in
Couldn't win
I'd only ever kissed before

(You mean she?
Uh-huh)

I though there's no use getting
Into heavy petting
It only leads to trouble
And seat wetting

Oh Shelly, you have made me just too happy! I never knew this line(Get back in the front and put some hair oil on)!

Now all I wa-ant to know
Is how to go-o-o
Ive tasted blood and I want more (less) more (less) more (Less) more (less)
Ill put up know resistance
I want to (insert rude line here) stay the distance
Ive got an itch(y sn@-@tch) to scra-atch
I need assistance!

Toucha Toucha Toucha Touch me!
I want to be dir-ir-ty
Thrill me chill me fufill me!
Creature o-of the night!

Then if anything grow
While you pose
I'll oil you up and rub you down
(Down, down, down)
And that's just one small fraction
Of the main attraction
You need a freindly hand
Oh, I need action

Ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-ta-touch me
I want to feel dirty
Thrill me, chill me, fulfil me
Creature of the night

Creature of the night (repeated several times by different ppl in some weird orgy scene ;P)

Creature of the night

Next is my favorite song for response lines

From the day he was born,
(not the night, but the day)

He was trouble.
(not Monopoly, but Trouble)

He was the thorn,
(Not the rose, but he thorn)

In his Mother (Mutter's) side.
(Not the back, but the side)

He tried in vain . . .
(Not the artery, but the vein)

--But he never caused he nothing but shame
(Shame, Shame, Shame . . .)

Taking everyone for a ride!!!

No, no, no

He left home the day she died
From teh day he was born, all he wanted
Was rock 'n' roll porn
Undt a motor bike
Shooting up junk
(He was a low down cheap little punk)
Taking everyone for a ride

oophs, jumped the gun on that last line --

But I also believe its "from the day she was gone (do-wap shoo-wap-bop! -- dont ask me, thats the response line!) all he wanted"

but anyway . . .

When Eddy said he didnt like like his teddy
you knew he was a no-good ki-id!
but when he threatened your life with a switchblade knife
What a guy!
Makes you cry!
Undt I did. (WHat's an undt?)

Oops, well, it makes a lot more sense now

Everybody shoved him
I very nearly loved him
I said "Hey listen to me
Saty sane inside insanity"
But he locked the door and threw away the key

But he must have been drawn (do-wap shoo-wap-bop!)
Into somethink. (do-wap shoo-wap-bop!)
Making him warn me in a note which reads
(Whats it say?! whats it say?!)
Im out of my hed (thats not how you spell head)
Oh hurry or I may be dead (that is how you spell dead)
They mustnt carry out their evil deed!

Wa a a a a a a a a !

When Eddie said he
Didn't like his teddie
You knew he was a no good kid
But when he threatened your life
With a switchblade knife
What a guy
Makes you cry
Undt I did

When Eddie said he
Didn't like his teddie
You knew he was a no good kid
But when he threatened your life
With a switchblade knife
What a guy (Wo, wo, wo)
Makes you cry (Hey, hey, hey)
Undt I did (Eddieeeeeee)

Right, new forum:


http://www.h2g2.com/forumframe.cgi?forum=26239&thread=34180