h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It's Jell-O! It's jello! It's gelatin dessert!

It's not jelly!

Jelly comes in jars! It's like jam, but... jellier! It's... it's All-Fruit! Smuckers!

Not jello!

Oh, it makes me mad!

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Well, to be precise, it's only jello if it's Jell-O brand...otherwise it's merely a gelatin dessert. They've been pretty firm about protecting their trademark.

And to add to the confusion, of course, jellies are also candies, kind of like non-runny jam.

The English language is a strange and wonderful thing.

Colloquially, it's still jello. You can't go and start a company called "Franklin's Jello" because you'll get burned at the stake by rabid lawyers obviously, but no matter what ecchy brand of jello it is, it's still called jello, even when it isn't named jello. Much in the same way that so very many people call tissues "kleenex," except it's not so annoying, and it's totally warranted because who wants to order the "strawberry gelatin dessert" at a restaurant?

according to Longman Dictionary of Contemporary English (2nd Edition, 1987, p.564):

-JELLO tdmk, AmE for JELLY (1b)

-JELLY
1a) a soft quite solid substance which shakes when it is moved

1b) (a dish of) such a substance made with sweetened fruit juice and gelatine.

2a) a clear, quite solid jam containing no pieces of fruit, seeds, etc.

2b)AmE for JAM.

-end quote-

So, for a VERY large part of the world the word is jellY (as a matter of fact, I wouldn't even know what jellO would be, if I hadn't peeked in a shop called "American foodstore" here in Stockholm)

adeve

Yes but there are an awful lot of us on this island. Perhaps not nearly so many as there are off this island but that doesn't mean we shouldn't be properly accounted for... and stuff... and that if we aren't, we shouldn't whine about it.

If we didn't whine about these things, you wouldn't have anything to complain about us for.

Look, Its quite straight forward.

Jelly referes to:

1. Soft squdgy substance given to Children at parties
2. A nick name for Tamazaphen tablets used by Junkies as a Heroin subsitute

Now, I realise that American Vice Presidents have trouble spelling simple words such as Potato, But surely Jelly isnt that hard?

Mic

Look, you're all just going to have to accept that we can't just go along with things like these. Owing to the fact that You Lot Over There generally ignore us all the time, and now all of a sudden you're sort of paying attention to us and we're all getting along, it's a grave shock to our language.

We've never before had to deal with things like improper use of the word "jelly" or U's and S's where no U's and S's should be—not, anyway, in a situation in which we have some say (books and television obviously do not count do they?). Nobody ever plays with us, so we've grown quite accustomed to the comfort of looking at words and seeing them the way they're supposed to be. It's going to take most of us a while to fully comprehend the idea that this is not especially about us, and that just because You Lot Over There have silly ways of writing things it doesn't mean you're wrong.

However, just this once, I demand that you're wrong! You're all wrong! All of you! It's JELLO, damn it! J-E-L-L-O! You can't argue with Bill Cosby! It just isn't done!