The theory of sandwiches is a twofold look into the fabric of reality, as through the spatial and mathematical relationships of sandwiches. The first part of this theory states that

    1. Half of Eating a Sandwich is Making it, while half of Making a Sandwich is Eating it.

Because the other half is, simply, itself, you end up with

    Making - - - - - - - Eating

(Making+Eating)+(Eating+Making)= 2Making+2Eating

This merely means that you must make another sandwich for the first one to be complete. Because the second sandwich restarts the equation, your end result is essentially that sandwiches are infinite.

    2. The ingredients used in making a sandwich reflect on the maker's soul and fate.

To find your sandwichy horoscope, mutliply the cheeses by the amount of vegetables and fruits in said sandwiches, squared, then divided by the quality of bread. If sandwich meats are involved, take the square root of the sandwich meat and place it beside the first answer. This, because it means nothing outside of the equation itself, is often ignored by diviners and oracles simply because they are too busy making sandwiches themselves.

For best results, add a cup of warm green tea to the equation.