Child actors are like old people with energy, and can be spoilt little brats who are living out the dreams of their sad parents, or they can be real child actors.

Observe a child with an injury. Initially the pain is real, and then comes the trip to casualty. This is exciting in itself, and the child generally moans more once you have entered the hospital.

The doctor then sends the child for an X-ray, and you come back out with the child who thinks the whole thing is really 'cool' before suddenly realising it hasn't shown much pain recently so it starts moaning again.

You then wait at least two hours for the doctor to assess the situation, and in the meantime you realise that the family in cubicle two have scabies and you're scared out of your wits.

By day three the child is ready to go to school again, but this is where the real Oscar-winning stuff starts. First the child still needs to wear the sling, even though it was able to complete level 76 of Croc on the PlayStation the night before. Your letter to the school must insist that the child should not do P.E. for a while, even though several cartwheels were performed - albeit one handed - the night before. Finally you have to make sure the child arrives late for school on the first day back so it gives maximum impact to its classmates who can stare in wonder and ask all sorts of grisly questions like:

• Did they give you an injection?
• Will it need to be chopped off?
• Etc. etc.

By day four they have completely forgotten about their 'serious' injury. My conclusion is that children do need to go to stage school because it's all built in.

Famous child actors of the silver screen include Judy Garland, Mickey Rooney, Shirley Temple and Elizabeth Taylor.