h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Also know to cause wind.

I live in the city known as Lincoln, we know a thing or two about beer. Interesting fact number one. Quite a lot of the stuff has a substance called alcohol in it (beware its poisonous) Interesting fact number two. They serve it in a number of outlets some of which are called public houses (sub fact free houses aren't free at all) Intersting facts continued. The Public house known as The Tap and Spile on Hungate in Lincoln serves a bewildering array of beers (most containing alcohol). The founder of The Samaritans lived in Lincoln very near The Tap and Spile (This is no coincidence). Dont try playing round chess after you've imbibed too much of that alcohol stuff.

Heavy or inexperienced beer users may be found during the early hours of the morning talking to god through the porcelain phone.

Warning: Don't drink and drive, you might spill it.

Best way to get over a hangover = drink alcohol

Quite valid comments there. I myself live in a country called Australia where we definatly consume more beer than water and because of this we Aussies are able to find another interesting fact. The amount of beer consumed is directly proportional to the ability to meet members of the opposite sex, whilst the time taken to drink said amount of beer is inversely proportional to the same.

Can cause memory loss..... Where am I again?

Yes, but the amount of beer consumed is exponentially proportionate to the quailty of the women met. As they say in all the best dricking establishments, "I've never slept with an ugly bird, but I've woken up with quite a few".

Equally, beer companies have yet to harness its most powerful benefit as part of their advertising- can i suggest "Beer- helping ugly people have sex since 1827"

I recently went to the Wales v Ireland Five Nations game and have never met so many kind and interesting pints of Guinness in my life !
A day to remember / not remember , well you know what iI mean .

This is also know as a "hair of the dog" or in full "hair of the dog that bit you" - I do not know why as it involves neither hair or dogs.

Next time you drink a pint of Guinness take the glass, hold it up to the light, and the light magically disappears (if you're drinking a good pint of Guiness.)
That is why me and my friends have begun called it the "Black Hole" of beer.

It is because it makes your mouth feel like it's full of dog hair. Or is it that some beer tastes like it's brewed from dog hair? Maybe that's how Pedigree bitter got it's name.

Best way not to get a hangover - drink lots of water before you go to sleep!

As well as wind, beer is a common cuase of divorce.

Quickest method of sobering up from too much beer: Large tin of baked beans eaten COLD one by one with a cocktail stick. Works every time! YUM!

Thats absolutely horrible and only something you'd try drunk. My personal favorite is to recklessly endanger one of your friends and this is usually a sobering experience.

Further Beer info. Ale is better than that weak yellow stuff that the Americans like. But all of it tends to give you a bit of a gut.

The elixir of life for college students, such as myself. Something I drank way too much of last night, and will probably do the same tonight. If looking for the best kind, try English or German types, but is there really such a thing as "bad beer"; sure, it may not taste great, but it usually accomplishes the task which we are trying to accomplish-getting drunk. Or for some people, excreting excessively, sometimes on walls and floors.

You've obviously never drunk any of my home brew!
If you were to award it a prise it would have to be for efficientcy..
It gets you very pissed and then gets the hell out of your body by any number of randomly choosen orifices!

I am afraid that I haven't quiet got around to fixing the 'taste' issues.... but it's brown and it pours (if you have patience!)

The laws of beer drinking in Australia should not be considered applicable elsewhere on Earth, unless certain other preconditions are met:
1: The beer should be very cold
2: The beer should contain more fizzy gas than alcohol
3: The drinking containers need to be quite small, certainly no larger
than the local size 'a schooner'
4: The brands of beer should be few and where a new brand has been
identified, not have any discernable difference in taste.
5: Tab tills, pool tables, sports TVs and pokeys are all
pre-requisites to ensure meaningful conversation cannot take place
enabling maximum beer intake to take place unimpeded

I have seen outside many of the drinking establishments known as public houses a sign saying Pool. Is this to do with the connection that has been made between the drinking of beer and the drinking of water which has been mentioned? Do Public houses offer this service to allow you to go from beer to hangover with less fuss.