h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

The Rugby World Cup - while watching the final in one of the hallowed enclaves of Welsh golf, the topic of the day (aside from the usual ramblings about points for penalties and drop goals) was - are football boots legal in Rugby?

According to Dia Hughes (who plays off 6 at Abergele GC), playing with footy boots is illegal and causes the kind of fat lip injuries sustained by the bleeding aussies this weekend (one of the local golfers wanted to demonstate that almost any shoe could cause that injury). Perhaps "as tough as old boots" is not the phrase - perhaps "as sharp as new predators" would be more like it (Well yes, His boots are in fact Adidas Predator Mania footy boots - size UK 9, US 10, AU 14). Perhaps the Welsh football team should have entered?

And talking of injuries, the Welsh were quick to point out that blood on the field is never allowed, but that appeared to be ignored for the cut on the England Captain - but then, how could the ref see around that great hooker (nose). The ref... I just wish he had been Welsh, what kind of ref would grant a penalty for the slight breach of scrum etiquette in the final seconds of full time? A Welsh one! And what did England do? punch? - no, kick? no, one of our men dropped his right ear at the "engage". Come on ref, he is hard of hearing - he was only trying to hear you shouting 'get closer'. By the way, did anyone retrieve the offending ear, or is there a patch of little England in that antipodean corner of the globe.

And so, fumbles, knocks, anguish - but evenually the local golfers replenished my beer and I could once again focus on the game. The game could have been planned by a Hollywood producer - or is Rugby just like professional wrestling - just a stage show to get the crowd going. It certainly seemed that way when He went down from a 'firm tackle' His ulna clearly shattered in a compound fracture. But no, He pulled it straight, the medic held His arm aloft and poooooof - good as new. And that reminds me, the adjectives those comentators use are very misleading - like describing Saddam as 'quite naughty', or Michael Jackson as 'interesting', or MWD as 'nasty'. let's all be glad that Hollywood does not produce the event - words like crushing, smashing, kerrrbamm, would be sooooo overused!

Maybe that is why He prays before every penalty, praying to the great god of rugby that the US will never discover the sport - oh please no, the very thought makes me shudder. And what would they call it??? let's hope they don't call it 'Football' again. Perhaps they would call it 'handball'.

And so to the kick that stitched up the match - a rather good "half volley" (the correct football term) that, in true Beckham style, went over the bar for a goal kick. David Beckham wears also Predators and has a holiday home in North Wales.

God Bless Football boots