A Conversation for Things That Make Your Skin Crawl

Sharpening knives

Post 1

Zebedee (still Pool God after all these years)

The very worst - it's Sunday, it's two o'clock, I've just climbed out of the shower and I'm very, very hungry (does alcohol steal everything you've eaten? I'm always hungrier than normal after a night out).

The gorgeous roasty nose flavours are thick in the air, and I can just taste that beef and yorkshire pud on my tongue.

And then swish, swish aaaaargh! Dad has the carving knife and a long piece of steel that was designed not to sharpen knives but punish the ears. And he relentlessly rubs them together like a fly stroking its arms.

Stop, stop, it was me, I'll confess to anything. But there is no malicious intent behind the pain, which probably makes my father a psychopath in purely clinical terms.

It doesn't spoil the lunch though.


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