h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I have this pet chihuahua. Actually he's my ex-wife's but she hasn't come back to claim him yet.

As I type these words he's sitting on a chair just out of the corner of my eye. He's staring at me. There! See? He's doing it again! He's sitting there with his front paws under his chin and he's just looking at me as I type on the computer.

"What?" I said to him about a half hour ago. He just stared back.

"I let you outside! I checked your water and food. What do you want?"

He hasn't moved. He's just sitting there even now. Staring at me.

It's creepy. It's making my skin crawl. Then I come into h2g2 and what do I see? On the front page y'all are talking about "things that make your skin crawl."

Dogs staring at me for long periods of time for no reason whatsoever, that's what makes my skin crawl.

By the way this is not an 'aural' or 'oral' form of skin crawling. It's 'visual'. There are many visual things that can make someone sense their skin crawling. Good horror movies for example, like Night of the Living Dead or The Blair Witch Project (which I've written a number of h2g2 pages for by the way). Also really gross documentary films about insects can make your skin crawl. And accidentally noticing someone else who doesn't know you're looking at them and they're picking their nose or digging at their crotch. Ewwwww!

..he's STILL staring at me!! MAKE HIM STOP FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

Perhaps he is trying to say "Yo quiero Taco Bell!"
Or telepathically communicate this desire for the stuff.

What About the things you can't see but know is there!
Have you ever seen pictures of the tiny creepycrawly monsters that's living in our beds and in our clothes and in our hair and on our skin?! Just tihinking about it makes me itch!

scratcscratchscrathc
-B-

Oh yeah the whole microscopic world gives me the willies. Scientists insist that some of those little mites and teenyweeny bugs are required because they serve useful purposes. There's even bacteria in our stomachs which allegedly help in the digestion process. Ewww! Do I REALLY have to live with that?

I washed my hands less than a half hour ago, but right at this moment as I type there's this itching sensation on one of my fingers. There's no redness or indication of a bite or anything. I'm wondering what little tiny things are on my finger having a party and how can I stop it cuz I'm about to become physically ill. Yuck!