This column is written using the latest Word-U-Like™ technology
("words™"). If you are unfamiliar with Word-U-Like™ technology,
you will find examples of it throughout this column.

Word-U-Like™ technology is a proprietary product of HumAllect Corp.
Inc.which is nothing to do with Monsanto Chemical Industries and
which has recently concluded a $300bn deal with the American Legal System
Inc. to copyright and/or patent all manifestations of the human intellect.
This deal is good for all of us as it offers you, the user:

• The entitlement to read, think, speculate and exchange ideas
  with your fellow Word-U-Like™ users within reasonable boundaries to
  be notified from time to time by HumAllect Corp by way of printed advertisment
  in the back of the quarterly magazine of the Parish of St James And St Terry,
  Upper Spofford, Worts., Great Britain (circulation 7), such publication
  to be deemed full and adequate service of the said terms and conditions.

• The priority purchase of upgrades to Word-u-Like™ technology,
  e.g. long words, variant pronunciations, shibbolleths etc. to registered
  users.

• To use Word-U-Like™ technology you must be a registered user.
  You will be given a security code upon registration. Pending registration
  you may only use words™ for the purposes of:
  
  • private thoughts (excluding indecent, scurrilous, satirical, cynical,
    inappropriate or antisocial speculations) which may not be communicated,
    either in words™ or any other method of communication including but
    not limited to grunts, pictograms, pointing and sniggering, to any other
    person;
  • reading this licence agreement.
     

• For your comfort and safety, you agree not to divulge to any third party
  in any way whatsoever the fact of your agreement not to divulge your agreement
  to any third party in any way whatsover.

I agree. Rush me full user instructions on Word-U-Like™ "Words™"!

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