h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

There is a large debate in the scientific communities over correct dietary plans. This debate is so large that small wars have been known to arise over the subject between different daytime television talkshows. This is usually pointed to as being a sign of the downfall of daytime television talkshows, but that's a different story altogether.

Many people point to large corporations as being the source of the problem. However, we must remember that executives of these corporations have to make money as well. The fact that large portions of fattening, salty, and altogether unhealthy foods sell rather better than smallish, greenish, tasteless foods just goes to show you that human taste and human needs largely directly contradict one another (for more information, consult the NutriMatic discussion in DNA's books).

Nowadays, many sects of dieting people are getting together, forming groups, and naming themselves "herbivores", "carnivores", and "dessertivores", despite the fact that humans are largely seen of as omnivores (everything eaters, most evident in small children). If you are one of these people, and you enjoy it, I say, go at it, and my blessings. However, if you are merely a member of one of these groups in the vain attempt to lessen your weight, and have no like whatsoever for the food involved, you will most likely fail. Not only that, but once you give up, you will attempt to gorge yourself on the better tasting foods which were previously denied you, and may actually gain many more pounds than you had been able to lose.

That being said, there are a few things you can do to keep a healthy diet:

First, work on drinking plenty of water. Unless you are of a species which is violently allergic to water, you will find that simple H2O is greatly helpful to your body. Water helps to regulate body temperature, it washes away any unused and therefore dangerous minerals and vitamins, it increases the body's metabolism rate, it lubricates the muscles and organs in the body, it helps both to wake you up (cold, with ice), and put you to sleep (warm, with dried leaves), and, if spilt, it generally fails to stain or eat through your clothing.

Second, I would suggest that you practise the art of "delayed gratification". To many people, especially to Americans, this term is seen as foreign and intimidating. It means to delay or lessen the normal continuous pleasure, and therefore to increase the pleasure of special occasions (ie, when you allow yourself to eat chocolate once a week, instead of once a minute).