Stupid Things That British People Do...
Created | Updated May 11, 2003
Disclaimer
Don't get me wrong, not all Brits are stupid. As a throughbred Brit myself, I'm not the type to insult my own - but some of the things we do are quite thick. Ignore the superstitions, often contradictory of one another. Ignore Cockney Rhyming Slang - something I use often, but which no one else seems to understand. Ignore the hysteria surrounding a monarchy whose head doesn't smile at a sick child... ignore all of these things and we're still pretty dumb.
British Money
British Banks will leave the doors open - but chain the pens to the counter. British people will also leave ridiculously expensive cars on the driveway and leave a battered out old lawn mower in the shed...
British Health
One third of accidental deaths in the UK happen in the home. Only in Britain does a sick man have to walk to the back of the shop to get some tablets to help but he can go to the front of the shop to buy cigarettes. Only a Briton would order Extra Large chips, a burger, ice cream and a doughnut - with DIET coke. British Ice Rinks have disabled parking spaces outside...
British Accidents with Boy's Toys...
3 Brits die each year testing if a 9V battery works... on their tongue.
58 fools are hurt using KNIVES instead of screwdrivers.
5 Brits were injured last year in accidents involving out of control
Scalextric cars
British Accidents with Clothes...
142 people were injured by forgetting to remove pins from new shirts... (not so stupid - it's been done before...)18 Brits had serious burns in 2000 trying on a new jumper with a lit cigarette in their mouth.
British Accidents at Christmas...
31 people have DIED by watering their Xmas tree with the fairy lights still plugged in...
and 19 Brits have died, believing that Christmas Decorations were chocolate.
British Hospitals report 4 broken arms every year after cracker pulling accidents.
101 people since 1999 have had broken parts of plastic toys pulled
out of the soles of their feet.
British Accidents when Drunk...
543 out-of-it Brits were admitted to Accident and Emergency in the last two years after
opening beer bottles with their teeth...
And In 2000 eight Brits cracked their skull whilst throwing up into the loo (well... only eight admitted it!)
But on a lighter note - 57% of British Schoolkids think Germany is the boringest country in Europe...
Therefore...
All you Brits - don't forget you're not as perfect as you'd like to think, and next time you're drunkenly playing Scalectrix at Christmas - be careful.
