h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

This article is fantastic, although smug satisfaction is not usually my domain, I have revelled in using some of these phrases in recent weeks.

However, to truly complete my latin smugness a translation of the following phrase would be hugely appreciated:

'If ignorance is bliss, wipe the smile off my face.'

I have tried on-line translators and phrase books and as yet have had no luck. If anyone can help to put me out of my misery then I thank you in advance.

Die dulci freure

Treating this as a simple conditional (If this then that) then my suggested translation would be:

si ignoratio beatitudo est, meum vultum renidentum dele.

If ignorance is bliss, wipe (as in 'wipe out, destroy' - imperative) my smiling countenance (face, features).

There are other ways of translating it of course, and perhaps more elegant or correct ways (translating as a simple conditional, for example, may be problematic, but it's late and that's the easiest ), so if anyone else has one, feel free to wade in

"translating as a simple conditional, for example, may be problematic,"
That may be true, but a great post nonetheless. A simple conditional could be thought of in terms of waiting at a red light: if the light turns green, Go! But, I think you're right about it being the easiest way to phrase it. I don't think the verb "wipe" should be in the imperative, however. I think it should be subjunctive. For instance, if it were phrased as "If it's true that ignorance really is bliss, I ask that you wipe the smile from my face." it would be a little more obvious that the subjunctive is called for. Of course, I have no clue what "wipe" is in the subjunctive (not to mention the gender variation).

King Cthulhu should have used the predicative dative "beatitudini". He has also misspelt 'renidentem'.

My translation is very literal. I've also used a jussive subjunctive as ordered. I don't see anything wrong with a simple conditional here.

"Si ignoratio felicitati est, risum abstergas facie mea."
"If ignorance is bliss, wipe the smile off my face."

Instead of 'felicitati' you could also have 'beatitudini' or 'laetitiae'.
Instead of 'facie mea' you could have 'ore meo'. (Both are ablatives of separation.)

I've just noticed that I should have put "abstergeas" and not "abstergas".