The pub quiz is a fast-growing phenomenon common to many public houses and other recreational establishments. You pay to take part in a test of your knowledge of important issues and facts. The trick is to find a few friends, who you feel may know more about general knowledge than yourself. The most difficult ingredient is then to find one or two people whom you would never associate with, because they are likely to know the sort of things that no one else in your team will know.

Important facts to remember about quizzes:

• It's not taking part that is important; it is winning.
• Anything that will distract your opponents is fair game¹.
• Members of the clergy and people with an obvious violent tendency are particularly useful.

Facts you need to know to survive a pub quiz:

• Who won the first Derby?
• How many satellites has Mercury?
• Who wrote the novels of Charles Dickens?
• Where is the toilet?
• Shall we have a curry on the way home?

In my experience, while I have witnessed many incidents of physical violence over disputes regarding the correct answer, I have witnessed few fatalities... worth noting.