Journal Entries
On Holiday!
Posted May 29, 2001
I am off around the world for a couple of months. I shall log on once or twice while I'm away - to fulfill my Scouting duties. Otherwise, see you in August!
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Latest reply: May 29, 2001
I Don't Believe In Me
Posted Mar 4, 2001
Welcome to the landscape of my mind.
Take a step inside and you will find
That what you think is me
Will always be a lie.
Oh you'll meet concepts roaming free
Like rape and death and making tea
And frozen images of time just floating by.
But search for me amidst the sprawl
Of this synaptic space
And you will find no overmind,
No ego there to trace.
You'll find a few elements,
But nothing like a soul.
The myriad abstractions here
Could never form a whole.
I don't believe in me.
The mind is just a fallacy;
A subtle fabrication,
There to keep us sane.
I don't believe in me.
Identity can only be
A virtual creation
In an automated brain.
I have memories of days gone by,
Of getting drunk and feeling high;
A tapestry as rich as it is strong.
Of teenage love and telling lies
Of making out and growing wise
And childhood days that seemed to be forever long.
But though it all made sense to me
It's damnable consitency
Made me begin to think that there was something wrong.
So now...
I don't believe in me.
My life has been a fantasy,
A falsified narration
From a base programme.
I don't believe in me.
There is no self reality.
Those muddled recollections
Are not worth a damn.
From birth the brain seeks harmony
In the chaos that it's fed.
The eyes and ears present the world
But it's filtered through the head.
There is no intellect to do this at the start.
The processing's mechanical.
Why bother to be smart ?
Welcome to the landscape of my mind.
Take a step inside and you will find
That what you think is me
Will always be a lie.
Oh you'll see fragmants sparking free,
The patterns formed from what I see
By core impulses that do nothing else but pry.
Not only do they scan the noise
That's picked up from the nerves
They also work out patterns
In their own dendritic curves.
And that is more or less
Where you and I come in:
An invented explanation for
The chaos here within.
I don't believe in me.
The mind is just a fallacy;
A subtle fabrication,
There to keep us sane.
I don't believe in me
Identity can only be
A virtual creation
In an automated brain.
Discuss this Journal entry [1]
Latest reply: Mar 4, 2001
The Dreams Are Yours
Posted Sep 14, 2000
A man sits hunched in a neon room
In a little glass bubble of urban gloom.
His movements seem precise and in control.
He stares at the flickering, mindless screen
And thinks of the man he might have been
Had fate itself not forced him from his goal.
A painted lady stands alone,
A picture postcard, on the phone,
Mechanically dressed to catch the eye.
Behind the tacky fem-mystique
She's saving money every week
And soon the day will come when she can fly.
The dreams are yours to make come true.
You can shape the life you lead.
No-one says it will be easy and mistakes are guaranteed.
You have the power to shape your life.
Be prepared to risk defeat.
Have the courage to confront the world and make the world itself retreat.
Discuss this Journal entry [6]
Latest reply: Sep 14, 2000
MDS
Researcher U137575
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