Stars for week 24/10/99
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
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<BODY> <B><FONT color="yellow">Your weekly horoscope for October 24, 1999</FONT> </B></A> <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0019.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">TAURUS</FONT></B><BR/> Taurus, this week you're tougher than usual. Lighten up. Show your warm fuzzy side. It's there; a nasty planet combo is just eclipsing it. It's true, you do catch more flies with honey. But you don't want flies. Our advice is to assault people with compliments. "Nice hat!” "You lost weight!” "How do you do that voodoo that you do so well?” No doubt, you'll get people lining up to stroke your warm fuzzies.
<BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0009.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">GEMINI</FONT></B><BR/> You've felt out of sorts lately, Gemini. Sure, you're having fun, but do you know where you're going? Do you know what life and love is telling you? Do you know? Nope. You don't know what you want. You can't always get what you want, but if you did, you could try sometimes and get what you need. This is a time of flux for Gemini. Flux... almost as fun to say as "plight". What are you going to do? Ride it out, and be thankful the stars aren't really screwing you. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0010.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">CANCER</FONT></B><BR/> Cancer is so fun. But wait! Cancer is also the sign likely to take things a tad too seriously. Paradox? Maybe it's a paradox. We're not really sure what paradox means. This week your passions and convictions are strong. You feel like busting them out. Great. But don't let 'em flow when debating something that's not worthy, like the Pokemon movie. Apply your convictions where they'll do some good. Ending world hunger, or getting someone in your futon. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0015.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">LEO</FONT></B><BR/> These days it's hard to get into a movie without ordering tickets in advance. At least it is here in New Zealand. Oh! You think we're talking too much about ourselves? Take a look in your butter knife Leo! You are seriously self-obsessed this week. The stars say you've got a friend in need, a friend crying out for your attention. For the love of Pluto, lend them your ear. You'll find they have some critical info for you. And then it'll be back to being all about you, and all will seem right in the universe. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0021.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">VIRGO</FONT></B><BR/> This week is all about family scandal Virgo! Secrets revealed! Trauma! Juicy titbits! Don't be surprised if you learn a certain relative has dug up your great aunt and flung her corpse out for the fun of it. Once you learn the family secret, what should you do with it? Bury it again? Hold it out for all to see? We say hold it close to your chest, and retain a poker face. The time to whip it out will come later. Bide your time right now Virgo. Normal service will be reconnected real soon. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0012.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">LIBRA</FONT></B><BR/> When a piece of hair sticks up, it's called a cowlick. Why? We've never seen cows with odd scraps of hair sticking up. Cows usually have short smooth hair that stays in place without the aid of any styling products. If you think the above is perplexing, get ready for a wild and woolly week. Questions fly at you left and right. You won't have the answers. Take up with a Taurus, or fly into the loving arms of a Capricorn. They'll act as a balm for this crazy big blue marble we live on. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0017.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">SCORPIO</FONT></B><BR/> You gotta love the underdog this week, Scorpio. Normally you are into survival of the fittest. This week you have the desire to nurture wounded birds. If you encounter an actual wounded bird, we can help you with its care. For example: a popsicle stick can be used as a brace for a broken wing. But we digress. This week the tired, the nerdy and the poor huddled masses flock to you. And you will be rewarded for being good to them. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0022.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">SAGITTARIUS</FONT></B><BR/>You feel you should sow your wild oats this week, don't ya? Well, sow away! All other signs will reap the benefits. That's because you're compatible with every sign, Saggy. Act now! This is a limited time astrological offer! Hey, if you get a break from the daily bump and grind, go here <A href ="http://www.h2g2.com/P169193"> for a bit of fun.</A>
<BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0007.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">CAPRICORN</FONT></B><BR/>Rebel Cappy! If you're fat, wear horizontal stripes! Be nice to the telemarketer who interrupts your dinner! Kiss the hands of people you meet and say, "Enchanted", even to plumbers! Go nuts, have fun, and give flowers to toll booth operators. Oh, and go here. It's not rebellious, but it's astrologically compatible with Capricorn <A href ="http://www.h2g2.com/P169193"> and a bit of a dag!</A>
<BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0002.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">AQUARIUS</FONT></B><BR/>This week Aquarius is cool, babe. The coolest sign around. Expect people to marvel at your new-found coolness. You're so out, you're IN. And you don't even know it, which makes you cooler. Nonchalance is seen as swanky. You don't really need to do anything differently, yet you'll be seen in a whole new light. Enjoy! <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0023.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">PISCES</FONT></B><BR/> You want love. You want success. You need clothes. Stop getting bogged down by your wants and take care of your needs. Now we're not fashion police, but we do know your threads are threatening to become just that - threads. Promise us this: Don't believe the hype. That means no cords, no vests, and no leather. You don't need to dress up to go here, <A href ="http://www.h2g2.com/P169193"> just good taste. </A> <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0004.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">ARIES</FONT></B><BR/> We got a request this week from an Aries. More love stuff. That's what she wants. We love to please, and we love to talk about love. Maybe we haven't told Aries about love because we thought astrologically, everything was hunky dory. Or maybe we're just asleep at the telescope. Saturn says your love prospects ARE wunderbar. The only thing that can hold you back is self-confidence. The female Aries suffers from insecurity quietly. So quietly, in fact, they sometimes don't admit to themselves they're insecure. This week put out your own propaganda. Believe your own hype. Confidence is what'll attract people like moths to a porch light. <BR/><BR/>
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<REFERENCES></REFERENCES>
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<BODY> <B><FONT color="yellow">Your weekly horoscope for October 24, 1999</FONT> </B></A> <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0019.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">TAURUS</FONT></B><BR/> Taurus, this week you're tougher than usual. Lighten up. Show your warm fuzzy side. It's there; a nasty planet combo is just eclipsing it. It's true, you do catch more flies with honey. But you don't want flies. Our advice is to assault people with compliments. "Nice hat!” "You lost weight!” "How do you do that voodoo that you do so well?” No doubt, you'll get people lining up to stroke your warm fuzzies.
<BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0009.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">GEMINI</FONT></B><BR/> You've felt out of sorts lately, Gemini. Sure, you're having fun, but do you know where you're going? Do you know what life and love is telling you? Do you know? Nope. You don't know what you want. You can't always get what you want, but if you did, you could try sometimes and get what you need. This is a time of flux for Gemini. Flux... almost as fun to say as "plight". What are you going to do? Ride it out, and be thankful the stars aren't really screwing you. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0010.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">CANCER</FONT></B><BR/> Cancer is so fun. But wait! Cancer is also the sign likely to take things a tad too seriously. Paradox? Maybe it's a paradox. We're not really sure what paradox means. This week your passions and convictions are strong. You feel like busting them out. Great. But don't let 'em flow when debating something that's not worthy, like the Pokemon movie. Apply your convictions where they'll do some good. Ending world hunger, or getting someone in your futon. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0015.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">LEO</FONT></B><BR/> These days it's hard to get into a movie without ordering tickets in advance. At least it is here in New Zealand. Oh! You think we're talking too much about ourselves? Take a look in your butter knife Leo! You are seriously self-obsessed this week. The stars say you've got a friend in need, a friend crying out for your attention. For the love of Pluto, lend them your ear. You'll find they have some critical info for you. And then it'll be back to being all about you, and all will seem right in the universe. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0021.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">VIRGO</FONT></B><BR/> This week is all about family scandal Virgo! Secrets revealed! Trauma! Juicy titbits! Don't be surprised if you learn a certain relative has dug up your great aunt and flung her corpse out for the fun of it. Once you learn the family secret, what should you do with it? Bury it again? Hold it out for all to see? We say hold it close to your chest, and retain a poker face. The time to whip it out will come later. Bide your time right now Virgo. Normal service will be reconnected real soon. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0012.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">LIBRA</FONT></B><BR/> When a piece of hair sticks up, it's called a cowlick. Why? We've never seen cows with odd scraps of hair sticking up. Cows usually have short smooth hair that stays in place without the aid of any styling products. If you think the above is perplexing, get ready for a wild and woolly week. Questions fly at you left and right. You won't have the answers. Take up with a Taurus, or fly into the loving arms of a Capricorn. They'll act as a balm for this crazy big blue marble we live on. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0017.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">SCORPIO</FONT></B><BR/> You gotta love the underdog this week, Scorpio. Normally you are into survival of the fittest. This week you have the desire to nurture wounded birds. If you encounter an actual wounded bird, we can help you with its care. For example: a popsicle stick can be used as a brace for a broken wing. But we digress. This week the tired, the nerdy and the poor huddled masses flock to you. And you will be rewarded for being good to them. <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0022.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">SAGITTARIUS</FONT></B><BR/>You feel you should sow your wild oats this week, don't ya? Well, sow away! All other signs will reap the benefits. That's because you're compatible with every sign, Saggy. Act now! This is a limited time astrological offer! Hey, if you get a break from the daily bump and grind, go here <A href ="http://www.h2g2.com/P169193"> for a bit of fun.</A>
<BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0007.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">CAPRICORN</FONT></B><BR/>Rebel Cappy! If you're fat, wear horizontal stripes! Be nice to the telemarketer who interrupts your dinner! Kiss the hands of people you meet and say, "Enchanted", even to plumbers! Go nuts, have fun, and give flowers to toll booth operators. Oh, and go here. It's not rebellious, but it's astrologically compatible with Capricorn <A href ="http://www.h2g2.com/P169193"> and a bit of a dag!</A>
<BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0002.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">AQUARIUS</FONT></B><BR/>This week Aquarius is cool, babe. The coolest sign around. Expect people to marvel at your new-found coolness. You're so out, you're IN. And you don't even know it, which makes you cooler. Nonchalance is seen as swanky. You don't really need to do anything differently, yet you'll be seen in a whole new light. Enjoy! <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0023.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">PISCES</FONT></B><BR/> You want love. You want success. You need clothes. Stop getting bogged down by your wants and take care of your needs. Now we're not fashion police, but we do know your threads are threatening to become just that - threads. Promise us this: Don't believe the hype. That means no cords, no vests, and no leather. You don't need to dress up to go here, <A href ="http://www.h2g2.com/P169193"> just good taste. </A> <BR/><BR/>
<IMG src="http://www.nccnet.co.uk/~shazz/h2g2/Page_18/IMAG0004.GIF"/> <BR/> <B><FONT color="white">ARIES</FONT></B><BR/> We got a request this week from an Aries. More love stuff. That's what she wants. We love to please, and we love to talk about love. Maybe we haven't told Aries about love because we thought astrologically, everything was hunky dory. Or maybe we're just asleep at the telescope. Saturn says your love prospects ARE wunderbar. The only thing that can hold you back is self-confidence. The female Aries suffers from insecurity quietly. So quietly, in fact, they sometimes don't admit to themselves they're insecure. This week put out your own propaganda. Believe your own hype. Confidence is what'll attract people like moths to a porch light. <BR/><BR/>
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<REFERENCES></REFERENCES>
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