Local Delicacies
Created | Updated Oct 20, 2010
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<INTRO></INTRO>
<BODY>Whatever you do, when you’re in another country (you’ll have to make the assumption that this is any country other than Britain and America, though it all depends on what you enjoy eating), NEVER EAT A LOCAL DELICACY UNLESS YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS (and once you know what it is, you probably won’t want to eat it anyway). It’ll probably be the leftovers from some local animal that the waiters know they can sell to some clueless tourists. <BR/>
Example: <BR/>
“Ah, zah, you vant b****kz ov goat?” <BR/>
“Bollocks of goat? That isn’t a goat’s b*****ks, is it?” <BR/>
“Oh, oh, oh, zah, eez a local delicazy.” <BR/>
“Oh, okay. Two b*****ks of goat, please.” <BR/>
You see? In the above conversation, the waiter never states that the delicacy is not what it sounds like (ie: b*****ks of goat), but his whiny little voice telling you that it is a local delicacy persuades you that it must be something special, and above all that he’s going to cry for his village’s traditions if you don’t eat it. Remember, it’s all deception. Most foreign waiters are trained in stage school, so they can pretend they’re about to cry if you don’t want a local delicacy. Local delicacies are made for fat rich people, who don’t care what they eat, on business (or so they claim) in another country, so they can pick up prawn’s heads, put them on the end of cocktail sticks and wave them around saying “look, look, I’m a prawn,” and make all their other rich-b*****d colleagues laugh. <BR/>
Of course, not all local delicacies are that bad, but try to avoid the ones containing meat (which can be a challenge, because most foreign waiters seem to think that vegetarians are people who don’t eat vegetables), as the meat dishes usually contain that cute little stray dog that you stopped to stroke on your way to the cafĂ©. <BR/>
<BR/>
Other dishes to beware of (written phonetically): <BR/>
Jikken carcazz <BR/>
Midical vaste <BR/>
Keeten eggscrement <BR/>
Zpanyel eentessteens <BR/>
Vradioagteev vrods <BR/>
Rozzed vetuss <BR/>
Hyuman brenn <BR/>
<BR/>
Work them out yourself; it’ll be good practise. <BR/>
</BODY>
<REFERENCES></REFERENCES>
</GUIDE>
<INTRO></INTRO>
<BODY>Whatever you do, when you’re in another country (you’ll have to make the assumption that this is any country other than Britain and America, though it all depends on what you enjoy eating), NEVER EAT A LOCAL DELICACY UNLESS YOU KNOW EXACTLY WHAT IT IS (and once you know what it is, you probably won’t want to eat it anyway). It’ll probably be the leftovers from some local animal that the waiters know they can sell to some clueless tourists. <BR/>
Example: <BR/>
“Ah, zah, you vant b****kz ov goat?” <BR/>
“Bollocks of goat? That isn’t a goat’s b*****ks, is it?” <BR/>
“Oh, oh, oh, zah, eez a local delicazy.” <BR/>
“Oh, okay. Two b*****ks of goat, please.” <BR/>
You see? In the above conversation, the waiter never states that the delicacy is not what it sounds like (ie: b*****ks of goat), but his whiny little voice telling you that it is a local delicacy persuades you that it must be something special, and above all that he’s going to cry for his village’s traditions if you don’t eat it. Remember, it’s all deception. Most foreign waiters are trained in stage school, so they can pretend they’re about to cry if you don’t want a local delicacy. Local delicacies are made for fat rich people, who don’t care what they eat, on business (or so they claim) in another country, so they can pick up prawn’s heads, put them on the end of cocktail sticks and wave them around saying “look, look, I’m a prawn,” and make all their other rich-b*****d colleagues laugh. <BR/>
Of course, not all local delicacies are that bad, but try to avoid the ones containing meat (which can be a challenge, because most foreign waiters seem to think that vegetarians are people who don’t eat vegetables), as the meat dishes usually contain that cute little stray dog that you stopped to stroke on your way to the cafĂ©. <BR/>
<BR/>
Other dishes to beware of (written phonetically): <BR/>
Jikken carcazz <BR/>
Midical vaste <BR/>
Keeten eggscrement <BR/>
Zpanyel eentessteens <BR/>
Vradioagteev vrods <BR/>
Rozzed vetuss <BR/>
Hyuman brenn <BR/>
<BR/>
Work them out yourself; it’ll be good practise. <BR/>
</BODY>
<REFERENCES></REFERENCES>
</GUIDE>
