Guinea pigs smallish, furry things that squeak. A lot. Loudly. They are Cavies, a sort of rodent related to the squirrel and coypu.
Capybaras are massive versions of guinea pigs that live in rivers and look at things with silly expressions. Guinea pigs are cheaper
to feed and louder. They eat vegetables and can be trained to squeak at the sound of the word "lettuce". Like rabbits, they eat their own droppings in order to
let them have two trips through the digestive system.

Guinea pigs cost about a fiver and come in a variety of colours and degrees of fluffiness. Best is the Abyssinian, which is covered in a series
of extreme cowlicks. Besides their loud, whistling squeak, they can purr like a small cat (by rubbing their cheeks) and when placed next to another guinea pig will
utter a strange, warbling sort of chattering whimper. Guinea pigs are rather stupid but provide endless entertainment if they are prevented from hiding under something and going to sleep.

Apparently, people in Peru eat guinea pigs at times of special celebration. What do they do with the skins? Do they sell lucky guinea pigs' feet keyrings?