Marietta, Ohio is located on the southeastern
edge of Ohio, which is in turn located in
the midwestern United States; directly above
Kentucky, below Michigan, and a bit up and
to the left of West Virginia. Lurking off
to the west is Indiana and beyond that - the
Western Lands.

A Few Vital Statistics

Marietta, Washington County, Ohio, USA¹

A Brief History

Marietta, Ohio should probably be commonly known amongst US residents
as the first settlement in the Northwest Territories; this
oft-overlooked town is dripping with history and positively oozing with
relics of a younger, leaner United States. However, few people realise
this, and fewer people care.

Founded in 1788 by the Ohio Company(led by General
Rufus Putnam, forever immortalised by Putnam Street which
runs straight through downtown; but we'll get there
later) and named for a certain French lass who happened
to assist a struggling colony in gaining independence -
one Marie Antoinette, who's head was later to roll during
the French Revolution, in 1793. Her last words to the executioner
reportedly were "Monsieur, I ask your pardon. I did not do it on purpose."
Read up on the French Revolution for more information on that one.

General Putnam and friends began what has evolved
from a small community at the junction between the Ohio and
Muskingum rivers, to... a small community at the
junction between the Ohio and Muskingum rivers. Population
has blossomed from General Putnam and his 47 men to a
mind-numbing high of approximately 15,000. Regardless,
Marietta remains a fascinating town for the historically-minded
traveller. Modern Marietta is a mecca of fantastic architecture
from early America; laden with antiques and the heavy industry
of southeastern Ohio.

Oh, yes. Industry. In 1860 oil drilling began. Combined
with coal from both Ohio and West Virginia², as well as a highly profitable boatmaker's
trade(oceangoing vessels were sent down to the Mississipi
River, and out on the Gulf of Mexico), Marietta and vicinity
has always been a highly profitable industrial area. Natural
gas currently flows in abundance under the fertile farmlands
the Ohio Valley also provides, and a not altogether uncommon sight
while driving in the surrounding are multitudes of pumps, churning out
gallons of the stuff that heats homes and cooks food and fuels city
busses. Not Marietta city buses, mind, for there are only two; the
Community Action Bus Line(CABL) and the Trolley - a motorised version of
a typical streetcar that used to run through town. Tracks are still
visible throughout the brick-paved downtown streets. The current
trolley, however, runs on a more common standard consisting of 4 rubber tyres.

Marietta College is another source of much history and consternation in town, a privately owned 'Liberal Arts' college located downtown. For such a small town, MC is a secret headquarters for many, many interesting things, which the college staff seems incredibly reluctant to tell, show, or capitalise on, resorting instead to attempts to cut the programs that make it a popular place for foreign exchange and liberal arts students, as well as those interested in Geology and Petroleum Engineering. Founded in 1835, MC has proven itself again and again to have absolutely no interest in the community, or indeed in much of anything else; as it grapples blindly with itself, fighting tooth and nail against being involved in much of anything except underage drinking in the dormatories. The Administration, in short, sucks. However, you can find some of the finest teachers in the land hiding in this god-forsaken school(minus the occasional count of sex with minors), so if Liberal Arts or Petroleum Engineering intrigue, investigation might be in order.

Things to Do

Bars and Restaurants

A small, agriculturally/industrially based town simply can't
survive without a few bars - and Marietta is full of them.

Let's start with class establishments first. The Lafeyette
is probably the best-known in town for the hotel, bar, and
restaurant contained therein. Built in 1918 on the lot
that the Bellvue hotel lived, burst into flames, and crumbled,
the Lafayette is situated directly on the Ohio river. It is
named after Marie Antoinette's man-thing, Monseiur Lafayette, who
visited Marietta shortly after it was founded and before he and
his friends all met their untimely dooms at the guillotine.
The Lafayette Hotel is an excellent upscale place to stay for the
night, as well as for a good meal and some drinks. Also handily
provided is a restroom and a telephone for the passerby, and
a security guard kind enough to let you use them in times of need.

A stellar place for the hitchhiker who's got some money to blow to
run up a tab that rivals the average annual income of
most Marietta residents is Oliver's Bar and Restaurant. Excellent
food, competent bartenders, and a cook that's working on his
Master's degree combined with some of the coolest patrons in town
makes this a definite stop. Highly recommended are the Ranch
Fries(hold the bacon); a heaping plate of good french fries, covered in
several different types of cheeses and served with ranch dressing
for dipping. Many places proport to serve these under many different
names(buffalo chips, etc) but few execute them as beautifully as
Oliver's.

For some less reputable fun: if crummy sports bars, underage drinking,
and drug dealers are your thing, try the Locker Room, the Townhouse, and
the Four Seasons, respectively(some category overlap should be expected
between the three, however). Other establishments include Slapshot's,
the Brewery, Loose Ties, First Settlement, and Tampico's Mexican
Restaurant, which the traveller to Marietta absolutely must experience
if they have any sort of taste for Mexican food whatsoever. All of
these fine establishments can be found in downtown Marietta.

Shopping

Antiquing is the name of the game in Marietta. You can't throw
a stone in downtown Marietta without hitting three antique shops,
as well as First Settlement, the Salvation Army... In fact, you can't
throw a stone in downtown Marietta without hitting most of it.
Irregardless, a stroll through town will reveal innumerable suprises, all
in the form of local businesses. Antiques, books and clothing new and
old, and Brownie's bakery for the best donuts anywhere when your
bloodsugar levels have dropped dangerously low. Recommended is the
chocolate cream puff.

To resume.

Antiquing is the name of the game in Marietta. In the multitudes
of shops you can find just about anything from ages past. There's
not much to say except have at it, and good luck. You'll surely
find something strange and amusing to purchase. Also suggested
is the local flea market, held in the old building that used to
hold Rink's Department Store every weekend from approximately 9am
to 4pm. Here, collectors of strange things both new and old have
taken over the building and peddle their mixed wares like there's
no tomorrow. A visit is highly suggested - Bring cash.

A good point of interest is that, unlike many small communities
that have sprung up across southern Ohio that are laden with antiques
and various other old things, Marietta has the advantage in
price. Cost of living is ridiculously low, the only crime is
underage consumption and possession of marijuana, and being a
tourist is easier on the pocketbook than anywhere in the USA that might
pretend to have anywhere near as much in it.

Miscellaneous

If you're thinking of moving to Marietta - don't. Come for a
weekend; come for the Sternwheeler festival, a yearly festival that
takes over downtown and celebrates Marietta's long love affair with
riverboats of all sorts. You will leave with a sensation of relaxation
and a weekend well spent. However, as a resident, there are certain
issues to contend with.

First off is employment. Jobs are scarce unless you feel like
starting up a local business, working at a fast food restaurant, or
manage to wrangle your way into one of the highly coveted factory
jobs in one of the many industrial plants in the area. Which actually
leads to another point - Marietta and vicinity has an extremely high
cancer rate, due to just that. Thanks to the likes of BP, Amoco,
Shell, Chevron, Elkim Steel, Eveready Battery, Vanguard Paints, and so
on, not only Marietta but all of Washington County is in the highest 90th
percentile of worst-polluting counties in the USA, according to
www.scorecard.org and
EPA reports from 1991. 10 year old statistics, yes. Likeliness they've changed: 0. As a new resident, this Researcher discovered for the first two weeks sores in the nose and mouth, more general respiratory distress, and rampant headaches. This is not uncommon, anecdotal reports suggest... So come visit, but don't stay too long...

This entry is far from complete. Flip back for more, as time
passes.