Iceland
Created | Updated Jan 28, 2002
Iceland, some people call it the the belly-button of the north atlantic. Some prefer to use a somehat lower part of the anatomy.
At any rate, it is a rather unusual place. And there is a number of reasons for it.
First, its population.
Second, a specific part of the population, namely the females.
Third, the amount of alcohol they consume together.
Fourth, the nature.
But let's start at the beginnig.
Section 1
The population.
Practically, nobody lives in Iceland. The country is so huge, and there is so few people that you can safely travel inlands and not meet a person in two weeks, if that is what you like.
On the other hand, if you are in the capital, Reykjavik at say three am on a non-descript saturday night you might wonder how is it possible that a country which has practically no population can have such crowds. But more about this in the third secrion, the one about the amount of alcohol.
The size of the population, small as it is (less that 300,000) has its advantages. For example, there is no need to lock your house, since the person likely to break in is porbably your cousin anyway.
Another rather curios consequence of living is such a small sominuty is they everybody knows you. That means that you cannot really go out ond do something stupid, since everybody will know about it half a hour after you did it. This is of course because basically everybody, tree year olds and 80 year olds excluded, has a mobile phone. And they also seem to be using the all thetime as well. But this creates another problem. People need something to talk about. And this is where doing stupid things comes in again.
Icelanders seem to be doing something wierd and out of the ordinary al the time (if you don't belive me, just hang out in an average party in Reyhjavik and observe) Andthe really cool thing about it is that nobody will ever comment about your wierd behaviour, since that might make you stop doing it, and people will have nothing to talk about anymore. So just go there and do it ! (tm.) :-)
Section 2
A specific part of the population, namely the females.
Well, again, you just have to go there and see for yourselves.
But for the less fortunate ones whio cannot go an see, I'll try to explain.
Let's say we take an average size european country, for example The Netherlands. They have a population of about 16 milion. We can safely assumethat they thus have somewhere around 8 milion females. Accoriding to the fainthful Web, there have been two miss worlds from the Netherlands
Now, take Iceland. It has a populaiton of 300.000. That makes roughly about 150,000 females. They too have had two miss worlds. See my point ?
As far as the otehr part of the population is concerned, nothing much is there to be said, since they spend most of their free time beeing totaly intoxicated. And that brings us to the third section.
Section 3
The amount of alcohol they consume together.
WOW ! That's the normal reaction to a sight of an Icelader (he/she) havng satisfying amount of alcoholic beverages.
Trying to keep up with a drinking Icelander is like trying to drink a waterfaal. Don't do it. But if you want to try, there are s afew advices you might want to take.
Start with eating some of the nations specialities, like rotting shark. It tastes and smells exactly like you imagine it. Probably ven worse. But, it makes you want to consume large quantities of a only slightly evil tasting Brennivin, nowdays only drunk by old fisherman. And why they drink it so not very clear to me, since theyusually smell worse than the shark, whose smell they are trying to suppres. But ok.
Now the difficult part comes. Try to find fro yourself a traditional Icelandic drinking equipment. It is usually a bright orange waterproof overall, with fur inlay. The large blue letters saying EIMSKIP seem to be essential for compelteness. Now wear this, together with some thick boots (ones going all the way up to your waist are preffered). Put on a thick cap. Now you are almost ready.
Now, equip yourself with the following items by placing them in the pockets provided : One liter of Vodka, in the front left pocket, One bottle of homemade-gasoline-tasting-liqour mixes with excessive ammounts of liqorice candy in the front right pocket, One hipflask of pure spirits ("borrowed" by your friend from thelocal chimistry lab) mixed with orange juice in the left breast pocket, A box of cigaretes ( packed water proof) and a lighter in the front right pocet, or alternativel if you are a non smoker, a packet of condoms (remember section 2) You also might want on jam this in your front pocket even if you are a smoker. Than, a almost full six pack of beer in the right hand and a open can of beer in the left hand.
Now you are properly equipped, and can go outside in the nature and drink all of this.
The function of the gear is by now obvious. You should be able to pass out anywhere in the lava field (and you will, considering all the booz you are carring around) and live the cold, damp and nonexistant night.
And this brings us to the final section.
Section 4
The nature
Iceland lays on top of the North Atlantic Ridge. This creates the most breathtaking and out-of-this-world landscapes. The most incredible lavafields are criss-crossed by mointains of blue, green and yellow sand. Fields of moss are dotted by countless half-wild sheep.
Every few steps there will be some hot spring bubbling away, coloured in the most psychodelic colours by the resident slime. Now and them a geyser might erupt, sending a plume of steam across a moon-like landcape.
Not that any Icelanders might actally notice this. They are laying around in their bright orange EIMSKIP overalls totally plastered. Especially if the date happens to be first of july.
Now, if you might be interested in getting a propper liver practice, spending large sums of money, enjoying the naural beauties, or just having some good old fashioned fun, go to Iceland.
At any rate, it is a rather unusual place. And there is a number of reasons for it.
First, its population.
Second, a specific part of the population, namely the females.
Third, the amount of alcohol they consume together.
Fourth, the nature.
But let's start at the beginnig.
Section 1
The population.
Practically, nobody lives in Iceland. The country is so huge, and there is so few people that you can safely travel inlands and not meet a person in two weeks, if that is what you like.
On the other hand, if you are in the capital, Reykjavik at say three am on a non-descript saturday night you might wonder how is it possible that a country which has practically no population can have such crowds. But more about this in the third secrion, the one about the amount of alcohol.
The size of the population, small as it is (less that 300,000) has its advantages. For example, there is no need to lock your house, since the person likely to break in is porbably your cousin anyway.
Another rather curios consequence of living is such a small sominuty is they everybody knows you. That means that you cannot really go out ond do something stupid, since everybody will know about it half a hour after you did it. This is of course because basically everybody, tree year olds and 80 year olds excluded, has a mobile phone. And they also seem to be using the all thetime as well. But this creates another problem. People need something to talk about. And this is where doing stupid things comes in again.
Icelanders seem to be doing something wierd and out of the ordinary al the time (if you don't belive me, just hang out in an average party in Reyhjavik and observe) Andthe really cool thing about it is that nobody will ever comment about your wierd behaviour, since that might make you stop doing it, and people will have nothing to talk about anymore. So just go there and do it ! (tm.) :-)
Section 2
A specific part of the population, namely the females.
Well, again, you just have to go there and see for yourselves.
But for the less fortunate ones whio cannot go an see, I'll try to explain.
Let's say we take an average size european country, for example The Netherlands. They have a population of about 16 milion. We can safely assumethat they thus have somewhere around 8 milion females. Accoriding to the fainthful Web, there have been two miss worlds from the Netherlands
Now, take Iceland. It has a populaiton of 300.000. That makes roughly about 150,000 females. They too have had two miss worlds. See my point ?
As far as the otehr part of the population is concerned, nothing much is there to be said, since they spend most of their free time beeing totaly intoxicated. And that brings us to the third section.
Section 3
The amount of alcohol they consume together.
WOW ! That's the normal reaction to a sight of an Icelader (he/she) havng satisfying amount of alcoholic beverages.
Trying to keep up with a drinking Icelander is like trying to drink a waterfaal. Don't do it. But if you want to try, there are s afew advices you might want to take.
Start with eating some of the nations specialities, like rotting shark. It tastes and smells exactly like you imagine it. Probably ven worse. But, it makes you want to consume large quantities of a only slightly evil tasting Brennivin, nowdays only drunk by old fisherman. And why they drink it so not very clear to me, since theyusually smell worse than the shark, whose smell they are trying to suppres. But ok.
Now the difficult part comes. Try to find fro yourself a traditional Icelandic drinking equipment. It is usually a bright orange waterproof overall, with fur inlay. The large blue letters saying EIMSKIP seem to be essential for compelteness. Now wear this, together with some thick boots (ones going all the way up to your waist are preffered). Put on a thick cap. Now you are almost ready.
Now, equip yourself with the following items by placing them in the pockets provided : One liter of Vodka, in the front left pocket, One bottle of homemade-gasoline-tasting-liqour mixes with excessive ammounts of liqorice candy in the front right pocket, One hipflask of pure spirits ("borrowed" by your friend from thelocal chimistry lab) mixed with orange juice in the left breast pocket, A box of cigaretes ( packed water proof) and a lighter in the front right pocet, or alternativel if you are a non smoker, a packet of condoms (remember section 2) You also might want on jam this in your front pocket even if you are a smoker. Than, a almost full six pack of beer in the right hand and a open can of beer in the left hand.
Now you are properly equipped, and can go outside in the nature and drink all of this.
The function of the gear is by now obvious. You should be able to pass out anywhere in the lava field (and you will, considering all the booz you are carring around) and live the cold, damp and nonexistant night.
And this brings us to the final section.
Section 4
The nature
Iceland lays on top of the North Atlantic Ridge. This creates the most breathtaking and out-of-this-world landscapes. The most incredible lavafields are criss-crossed by mointains of blue, green and yellow sand. Fields of moss are dotted by countless half-wild sheep.
Every few steps there will be some hot spring bubbling away, coloured in the most psychodelic colours by the resident slime. Now and them a geyser might erupt, sending a plume of steam across a moon-like landcape.
Not that any Icelanders might actally notice this. They are laying around in their bright orange EIMSKIP overalls totally plastered. Especially if the date happens to be first of july.
Now, if you might be interested in getting a propper liver practice, spending large sums of money, enjoying the naural beauties, or just having some good old fashioned fun, go to Iceland.
