h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I hate re-learning stuff as well.

I don't think I've ever worn a skirt on stage (no pantomime dames on my CV!)...

One of my earliest performances - in a school nativity play - involved me wearing a red pleated skirt.
The addition of brown card strips made it appear to be a Roman Centurion's kilt, and I think there was a papier mache breatplate too, though I don't remember having a hand in its creation.

Apart from the initial embarrassment a nine-year old boy would naturally feel wearing a skirt the only thing I recall (because I was told about it by my mother later) about the perfromance is that the accompanist had great difficulty keeping pace with my unexpected changes in speed.

LOL!! I was an angel in my Nativity play. Giggled all the way through. As I did when I was on my way to the guillotine as Marie Antoinette at primary school...still have trouble keeping my face straight sometimes...

Since that time skirts have not figured in my dramatic costumes (though I had hopes of being cast a panto dame in a few productions). There was a tutu (when playing the Miller playing the King of the Fairies in The Canterbury Tales) and fishnet stockings, suspender belt (a lacy one again) and stilettos (when performing in The Rocky Horror Show).

How dull my costumes have been compared to yours! I was always the narrator in school nativity plays etc., because I had "a lovely clear voice". Argh. Narrating is sooooo dull!

You have to narrate the right things - the stilettos etc. were worn narrating the Rocky Horror Show To be fair they were only put on in the curtain calls, most of the show was in a DJ, trousers, and shiny dress shoes.

Oh I don't know, the Narrator in 'Joseph' is a pretty good part!

How cool that you've done the Rocky Horror Show, Pimms! I used to be a massive fan, went to see it over twenty times (which still isn't a lot for a RHS fan) in London and on tour. We also did a few excerpts in the sixth form at school - I played Columbia.

I didn't do the tap dancing bit though - maybe that's one for you for the future, David!

Re Rocky: My previous attempt at a show blog was hampered (in that no-one replied to it , which would have made it much more enjoyable, knowing people were interested ) by creating another nickname (Caractacus U733320) to post about it, which I haven't bothered to use since.

Just read Caractacus's journal on RHS - sounds great fun. The best Narrator comebacks are the off-the-cuff ones, but I'm so useless at adlibbing and improvising that I'd never be any good at that. The very best comeback I ever heard was from Anthony Head (aka Giles in Buffy the Vampire Slayer), who was an absolutely superb Frank. It's very rude though so I won't post it here.

Shame no-one replied to your blog, but then without you and David mine would be pretty lonely too!

I saw Anthony Head in RHS too At the time I saw it most of his put-downs were directed at the Gold Blend coffee references shouted out (that dates it )

Yes, I think he got a bit sick of that coming at him all the time...

Bleugh...feeling sick...

Had a rehearsal last night for the posh Solarium dance - all evening dresses and upper-class dancing. Was good fun, and we got to do a polka which I was very pleased about as it's about the only dance step I actually know how to do, so I was well away! But... we have to polka eight steps, five times with different partners, and in between each polka we ladies have to spin four times in four beats. Now, I'm not used to dancing at all really, let alone spinning, and after the second set the room was reeling and I could hardly stand. Somehow I managed to get to the end, but I need to learn to spot.

So this morning I practiced a bit in the toilets, as is my wont , and have left myself feeling very . I just can't seem to stop feeling dizzy, even after one spin. I don't think it helps that I have a dodgy neck so trying to whip it round quickly isn't too great. Also I'm a bit shortsighted so focusing is tricky at the best of times, LOL!

I suppose the only thing I can do is practice once every so often, and hopefully get myself used to it.

Bleugh...

Nice overlapping references with sick : polka : : spots

A dodgy neck would be a difficulty with spinning and not getting dizzy. The trick is supposed to be keeping your view fixed on one point as far as possible, which obviously involves some neck whipping.

Well 'spotted' Pimms! It's obviously on my mind quite a lot at the moment!

Yes, spotting seems to be the key, but we're moving round in a circle while we spin so it's tricky to work out what to spot on. And I get dizzy even when I do it on the spot so what hope is there for me! (why couldn't I get some nice, easy tap dancing like David ?)

Oi!

I find spinning very hard as well. I'm not very good at 'spotting', even when I have my glasses on.

Sorry - just joking. I've never tapped so I bet I'd be rubbish.

I now have a nice bruise on my left hip bone when I bashed into another couple during the polka (well, they sort of fell into us). It goes very nicely with the one behind my knee from attacking a chair during that chaotic dance a week and a half ago...

Our Kipps is off on holiday skiing today for a week. We're all crossing our fingers he doesn't do himself an injury as there is just NO-ONE who could take his part and he's only offstage for seven minutes in the whole show...

Gosh, what happens during those seven minutes? A really complicated scene change?

I hope you don't get any more bruises to match your other ones...

No, it's a cumulative seven minutes across the whole show. He has something ridiculous like ten costume changes. And the longest he's off without having to do a costume change is two minutes...

I'm always covered in bruises. It's due to a combination of being impatient and rushing about all the time, and good old-fashioned clumsiness!

Another rehearsal last night. Kipps is back, thankfully no limbs missing. We finished off the number we'd started last week. It's pretty chaotic, and at one point during a backward-stepping bit the girl in front of me (who is about 5 foot 10) stepped backwards with all her weight onto my toe - oowwwwwwww!!! All the kids are in it and don't really know what they're doing as they haven't been shown separately and they haven't picked it up.

It's not the dance that's chaotic either, not like the 'Money to Burn' number where we're all rushing from one side of the stage to the other. It's the fact that people seem incapable of standing in two lines parallel to each other, of remembering where they were once they've moved out of the lines and of moving in the lines to another part of the stage. So instead of double lines you end up with a sort of mish-mash of people, four or five deep.

The other song was the posh regatta number 'The Military Canal', which is a lovely song. It's the posh peoples' song, though the common lot come in and disturb us halfway through . Not many interesting steps (the commoners get all those) but it's nice and elegant.

Mind you, I'm gradually realising that most of my time offstage is going to be spent changing, and it's tricky when you have to look perfectly-groomed and you've only had five minutes to change...