This is a Journal entry by Tumsup
Mitzvas
Tumsup Started conversation Apr 1, 2009
There's a fellow on the God Delusion thread who claims special knowledge of gods will. Whenever we point out inconsistencies or contradictions in his statements he reverts to the claim that his faith needs no justification beyond his conscience. His access to gods wisdom extends so that he can both use scripture and contradict it. Since it is not beyond the power of god to change his mind if he wants to, god can contradict those scriptures, but he is the only one who can. Since warner claims that he can do that he is in effect claiming to be god.
Well, if he can, I can. I hereby declare myself to be the Great God Drongo, Creator and Lord of the Infinite Universe.
As I am presently using a human vessel to carry my perfection around, I think that the expressed portion of my infinite wisdom should not be heavier than that vessel can carry. This means that I will dim my bulb to human level.
Having dimmed said bulb and since few people pay attention to Commandments anyway, I thought that I would solicit suggestions for sacred laws from those whom I will command to obey.
I'm going for 614 mitzvas, one more than YWH. The first will be on the thread that follows.
Mitzvas
Tumsup Posted Apr 1, 2009
1. I am the Great God Drongo, Lord of the Infinite Universe. If you don't believe that, how could I possibly care? I have the infinite universe.
Mitzvas
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Apr 1, 2009
How about 'Thou shallt not suffer a bonobo to live.'
Mitzvas
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Apr 1, 2009
'For they are vile and abominable creatures that verily do rub their parts.'
Mitzvas
Tumsup Posted Apr 1, 2009
Did I not give you parts? Did I not give you hands with which to rub? So, no to that one.
Mitzvas
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Apr 1, 2009
I wouldn't want to be in any religion that would have me as an adherent.
Mitzvas
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Apr 1, 2009
But that covers most foods, doesn't it?
'I ate tofu for lunch and it's disagreeing with me.'
Mitzvas
Tumsup Posted Apr 1, 2009
I didn't say anything about starting a religion; there's too much of that already and they're so tedious.
Mitzvas
Tumsup Posted Apr 1, 2009
Like the cannibal joke.
I had my mother-in-law for tea. I don't know why I do that, she always dissagrees with me.
Mitzvas
Tumsup Posted Apr 1, 2009
3. If the burger place has a two for one special, thou shalt give one to a hungry person. Also fries and a drink if it's your date.
Mitzvas
Edward the Bonobo - Gone. Posted Apr 1, 2009
Reminds me of a story from a friend...
On the way into a chippie, he passed an auld, drunk guy asking for spare change. He walked past...but while in the chippie he had an attack of conscience and bought him a fish supper. He hands it to the guy on the way out, and as he walks off he hears:
'Anyone want to buy a fish supper?'
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Mitzvas
- 1: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 2: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 3: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Apr 1, 2009)
- 4: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Apr 1, 2009)
- 5: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 6: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 7: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Apr 1, 2009)
- 8: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 9: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Apr 1, 2009)
- 10: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 11: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 12: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
- 13: Edward the Bonobo - Gone. (Apr 1, 2009)
- 14: Tumsup (Apr 1, 2009)
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