This is a Journal entry by Tumsup

Invisible Fence

Post 1


Miasma. I guess it makes sense to get depressed when things are going badly but I seem to get it most when things are goiing well. smiley - huh

My latest invention is close to the production version and it works way better that I dreamed when I first thought of it. Usually, my enthusiasm peters out when I run into so many obstacles that I have to accept that I can't build it. This time, the next step is clear and wide open. So, why am I stalling?

Haven't been in the shop in a week. Yesterday, I got dressed and headed out there, then steered left at the door and went for a walk instead. About a block from my house, that little dog came running out, chirping that funny little hyperaggressive thing that they do. I don't pay him much attention because I know that he'll stop at the edge of the lawn. There's a clear line in the grass where he works it in his tiny fury.

There's a sign posted on the tree there. It says 'Invisible Fence'. One of those techno replacements for a dog lead. It comes with a collar that zaps him if he crosses the line. I bet he thinks it's my fault he gets it. He's only doing his job, after all; why should he be punished for it?

I try to be friendly to him. 'Hey, how ya doin', Buddy?' I put my hand down to show him I'm OK when I notice. He's not wearing his collar! But he still won't cross that line.

I'm starting to identify with the dog. smiley - blue

Invisible Fence

Post 2

Tibley Bobley

That sounds familiar. There's a sort of fear, just on the verge of success when you pull back in doubt. I hope you get round it. Perhaps you just have to grit your teeth and plough on. And that might involve pushing out of you mind what success or failure might mean at the end of the project. It's funny, the sort of things we wind ourselves up with, without knowing why. Good luck with itsmiley - smiley

Invisible Fence

Post 3

aka Bel - A87832164

Isn't it funny, the fences and walls we build around ourselves to protect us from being hurt?
Hope you'll be better soon. smiley - hug

Invisible Fence

Post 4


thanks, Tibley and Bel smiley - cheerup

I'm actually feeling much better already. I went out to the shop and had a good cleaning. Somehow, putting everything back in its place and the dust in the bin is exhausting but refreshing at the same time.

I know they have meds for mood swings but I won't have them as the manic bit, the creative bit, is lost along with the downside. It's like loving your dog, you still have to take him walking even in the pissin' rain.

Invisible Fence

Post 5

aka Bel - A87832164

Tell me about moodswings. I've had more of them lately than I care to remember. It's been more down than up, but I'll get around again at some point, I'm sure. St John's Worth does seem to help, although I haven't taken any for months.

Invisible Fence

Post 6

Edward the Bonobo - Gone. it says in this Guide Entry: A3213064, St. John's Wort can be effective for mild to moderate depression. It is not useful for bipolar disorder...if that's what we mean by 'mood swings' (Bipolar disorder can be thought of as mood swings that go beyond the normal spectrum of emotion).

The treatment options for bipolar disorder vary, dependent on the individual's pattern (ie more highs or more lows). Anti-depressants tend to moderate the lows. Mood stabilisers tend to slightly control the lows but more the highs. (although there is, I believe, some recent clinical evidence for some of the newer mood stabilisers also decreasing the severity of depressions).

Invisible Fence

Post 7


Thanks for that link. Ed. I haven't thought of myself as clinically unwell because I'm lacking some of the classic symptoms. For instance, I've never been so depressed that I wanted to die, not since I was a teenager, anyway. But then, adolescence is a pathology all its own.

My problem is more that, since I've become very skilled at managing my own mind, I worry that by making any real change in my life, I would tax that control. Hence the theme of the first post, the invisible fence.

Invisible Fence

Post 8

Edward the Bonobo - Gone.

Just to be clear...I wasn't suggesting a diagnosis. Mood swings are quite normal. Bipolar disorder is when they're so severe that they interfere with one's normal functioning.

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