h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I am going to port all of my previous blog entries from Xanga to H2G2 for the sake of consistency. I see this as sort of a writing/thought home base, so therefore, it should contain whatever other extraneous bits that i have for clairty and archival purposes. Despite the precise care that I take to keep things coherent, it really doesn't matter. This is the kind of person I am.

[If you read this, know that most of the following pieces of information apply to Xanga and not H2G2. This note is, of course, for the sake of clarity (see above).]

I don't know how much longer the Xanga site will be up, or if I will still use it. Here is it by the way: http://www.xanga.com/home.aspx?user=pumpikano

And here it is:













Monday, May 24, 2004


ET CETERA


-Why is liberal reporting considered mainstream news, and yet conservative reporting is considered editorial or opinionated news?




...etc...



Sunday, May 23, 2004

ET CETERA


[Author's note: This is the first installment of our brand new feature called "ET CETERA." It is a kind of 'things to think about' post if you will. Although it was tempting for me to have named this by the cliche "Food for Thought," it has come to my attention that food will only be chewed, swallowed, churned into a reeking liquid sustance, chemically altered, then absorbed and eventually expelled through the rectum. (Eating is a very disgusting thing.) And if not that, rot. So I have chosen to use a title more fitting to theme of 'variety.']


-You just can’t fully explain the universe. This explanation is what many various philosophies offer to try to explain the universe because they can’t explain it.




...etc...



Thursday, May 20, 2004

How is it possible for porcipines to have sex? It would be very uncomfortable.



Tuesday, May 18, 2004

You might want to check the review section if you care anything about California - it's one hell of a place. That review feature is kind of stupid though.





One thing that I find particularly annoying is the use of smiley face things such as this: or any others such as these: . (that last one is particularly irksome) They have a whole damn button for them! A whole damn button!!!! Geez that pisses me off! I don't even know the hell why, but it does. So now I present my case: if you dare use one of these in a comment on this site I will beat the living cyber-shit out of you...somehow.

Yes, I know some smartass is going to read this and post a comment with a smiley. They will think it is funny. They may even smile to themselves while they do it. If you are this person (and I have a good idea who might do this) then you are a sorry excuse for a likeable person and probably an obsessive internet user, maybe even a little overweight?

I like my computer enough without it smiling at me.



Monday, May 17, 2004

On the top of this page under the title box there are a few links, one of which is the option to subscribe to my site. That seems pretty normal and is a good idea - right? Well, I couldn't help noticing that it has an exclamation mark on it, much like this: "Subscribe!" This, of course, is on every Xanga site and I do not have the power to change it (I think).

So, why do I mention this? Well, to me, that is the most irritating thing that Xanga could have possibly put there. Obviously, Xanga thinks that it is something worth being entusiastic about. So, I think to myself, Maybe it is that exciting. So naturally, I did what anyone would do, that is to say it excitedly to see if it works. It doesn't. Honestly, I can't think of anything more annoying than mock excitement besides maybe cats. Really, who the hell is that excited about subscribing? If you are, you have no life. Consider suicide.


Sunday, May 16, 2004

This site is titled "Various Things for Various People," so if you are a various person, here is a various thing. (If you are not a various person, you are probable in the wrong place.)


This is a picture that was taken by me with a digital camera in California. San Fransico to be exact. San Fransico is one hell of a place. Anyways, I took this on the streets of San Fransico at night while I was walking (therefore the fuzziness). That's the thing, you just can't slow down to take a picture on the streets of San Fransico because, as I have said, it's just one hell of a place. If you don't know what I am talking about, then look at the picture.

[Note: You might want to check the reviews section for more info about California because I anticipate a full fledged review of West Coast society to be there in the near future.]








[This picture has been rotated 90 degrees if you give a damn.]


Perhaps now you can understand my shock at seeing this. I just casually glanced at it while passing by and it immediately caught my eye. I'm sure you can figure out what I thought it said - hint: you only have to rearrange two letters.

Not being much of a clothes shopper myself, I did not realize that this stood for "French Connection United Kingdom" until later. Apparently I was not the only one to notice this. Here is an article about it.

In my opinion, it is a very good advertising ploy - it really catches the eye and a lot of people would buy a shirt with "FCUK" on the back (including me). If you already knew all this then you probably think I am an idiot. I don't really care.


-pumpikano





Friday, May 14, 2004

To avoid being too obvious, I will try not to mention in this post that it is my first post despite the fact that it is. (Well that didn't work.)

Anyways, I have no idea why exactly I am doing this because I have always been doubtful of these internet based expressions/conversations because they have a tendency to poorly represent the personality of the person. It all seems kind of stilted. We use exclamation marks when you might not really be exclamatory. We insert horrible jokes that would not be funny at all in real life. We use abbreviations for phrases that we seem to be too lazy to write (lol, jk, imho, etc.). (By the way (as opposed to BTW), I will not be using these ever because I would like to believe that what I have to say is worth a little more than saving a few seconds typing.)

And all wrapped up in this is the slight guilt I feel that I am going to use the internet for personal expression. I mean, the internet. Come on. I am using something as frivulous and anonymous as the internet. Oh well.

The other iritating thing is that I am conversing with nobody in particular, just what ever random internet user stumbles on to this. I can't help thinking, Who the hell are you? I may never know.

We will see...


-A random internet user