h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

It seems as if when you turn the ripe age of 18, that the officials of the worlds Jerk-Off Organization of the World, decide that you are now to be referred to as a Mr. or Ms., and attack the world with arms swinging... This happens more often than not.
The problem with this, is that if we do not accept the evil responsiblity of pursuing life at a young age, then we must appeal to the Jerk-Off Organization of the World, by making them believe that we can learn something new in college, and therfore dump our heads in the Toilet Bowl of Debt.

There are so many things evil about responsibility that a Bible should be written on the subject alone. However, since Rice Paper is expensive, we'll have to settle for a short novella, or possibly even a 12-month calendar entitled, "Why Responsibility Sucks Raw Eggs..."

January - Responsibility entitles us to a free-trip to jail, yet we never get to see that damn, "Get out of jail FREE" card. Sometimes it funny to see someone get arrested, just because the county needs the money.
February - Two Words - Selective Service... aka The Draft.
How much more B******T do you need? The Draft? please... What is so choice about that? "It is our responsibility as citizens of the United States..." Big Friggin' Deal, if everyone knew that The US was not the Burger King we aspired it to be, we wouldn't be hiring Presidents who like their pants at their knees, and hire interns named Monica, Monaco Grand Prix just gives more head for the cylinder ... Me? No pants, thank you...
March - JURY DUTY, rates right underneath the draft, and penile implants. They are so inflated you believe they'll burst. Jury Duty is no civic duty, and even if it were, I'm sure people would still choose Barnum & Bailey, or Judge Judy meets Perry Mason in Depends.

Well... You get the point ...

Yes, and all to well. For the mental image of a penile implant on the verge of...shall we say, "splitting at the seams," is the wrong imge to convey in description of "Jury Duty." As for my employer, where he wishes his pants to be are of his own concern, I agree with you. No pants, they make it hard to move onto the bed (couch, counter, table, shelf, dresser, nightstand, etc)
I do not know this debt of which you speak, enlighten me fellow...yet fairly more insignificant God...

By the way...damn arabic keyboards...

Well, it is rather funny to start with... The Toilet Bowl of Debt. See, what happens is that when 18 strikes the federal idiocy clock, for all such heathen bipeds, an paper is issued stating all of the f**ked up, and easy ways for them to get everything from you, and the infestious pants. Hence, why I don't like pants. Not only do they delay certain actions from taking place, but I figure if I don't have pants, the goverment won't have pants either.
(Of course, that's not to say that they won't send me a letter stating: "Buy pants, so we can have them... We like pants" and such.)

Just simply, the things such as Credit Cards, College Tuition, and extremely high Insurance premiums for those in the 18 binge. Those three things right there, infuse this country's POS-type thinking. See, some of us will have to pay every damn dime of their college tuition, because we either don't qualify for grants, or the fact that someone in our family-line is making more than the poverty line. (Contradiction: Is that our country complains so much about over 3/4 of our population not getting anymore than high school diplomas, and we STILL insist on making them pay close to $40,000 for a secondary education.)
By having to pay for the tuition, that leaves little finances for anything else. That is why it is so easy for people in the 18-And suck at it all state, to be granted with plastic cards with funny logos on them, to use instead of actually HAVING cash. This way, they can go to more Raves, and spend more time tipping "Xania", the stripper at Deja Vu, than worrying about not having enough finances.
Next problem, comes in with having to pay close to $250.00 a month in insurance, JUST because of the fact that you're under 25. Once again, our country states - Do this, and do that....Yet we get no F**KING help. How do you like that????


So, the Toilet Bowl of Debt, is the only dependable toilet out there. It NEVER gets clogged. It's so use to the b******t ANYWAY...

By the way, you're employer is a Big Bed Wetting Dooty Head. He sucks in every sense of the words - Suck, Blow, Swallow, Regurgitate, and Spit. He has no idea what LIFE is, and he has relatively no idea what MARRIAGE is, he relatively gives no s**t when admitting that he DID have sexual relations with other women, YET he's so quick to ask for forgiveness and admit to having "Sinned".

What a moron. I would never put myself in having the "Commander" a messed up human being with no moral stand-points, or even a decent sense in women. And WE, the people, wonder why America gets laughed at all the time. WE made it a point to express FREEDOM. So? It's that over expression of it, that has us stuck with over-abused Narcotics, people who still have aged out of the Hippie Genre, and infested with people who live on Welfare. The same FREEDOM, allows us to maintain racial discrimination, and jail sentences over saying something that "Hurt Someone's Feelings".

The only way to immediately FIX the problem, is to have everyone freebase at the SAME TIME. A Synchronized FreeBase, that way, everything comes out into the open, and FREEDOM of speech will be executed with outstanding results.

Will

P.S. Arabic keyboards suck as much as anything in the Arabian sub-culture. They believe in a Violent God. That is why they're so good at Terrorism. Think about it this way, Muhammed was choked by Archangel Gabriel, because he couldn't recite a few simple lines from the Old Testament. How f**ked up is that???? So, in the event that anyone steps outside of the Muslim culture, they are an immediate label for EXECUTION.
Such as what is currently going on with this Camp Pendleton Marine. This girl he fell in love with is from the Arabian region, and she is a Princess. Well, because he is not Muslim and a Commoner, she was to never see him. Well, they eloped and came to America (she illegally). In the event that she returns to her own country, to her own family. They will kill her immediately. How do you like 'dem apples????