This is a Journal entry by Estelendur (AKA Esty)
Love
Estelendur (AKA Esty) Started conversation Jan 3, 2005
I've been thinking about this journal entry for a few days, and haven't had a chance to post it until today. Also, this'll mention a certain friend from real life, and I'm at once hoping he won't see it, hoping he will see it, and thinking of pointing him toward it while not really telling him to read it. Anyway...
I have a big problem with some of the ways teenagers in the US use certain words, largely the multiple and excessive uses of the word 'like'. The most irritating is using it as 'filler' whilst talking instead of pauses, as if the speaker is afraid that if a steady stream of speech is not kept up, the listener is liable to interrupt. Unfortunately, this may well be true. However, this is not what I want to talk about.
The second most annoying use of 'like' is using it to mean, often in the same sentence, either to like someone as a friend, or to have a crush on them. This creates a good deal of confusion, particularly when one has a crush on a friend. For example, this exchange occured between me and a male friend:
Me: *friend* thinks you like me.
Him: Of course I like you!
Me: Not like as a friend, like as in have a crush on. (Or something to that effect.)
Him: Of course I don't like you!
See how confusing it can get? Now, this may seem irrelevant to the subject of this 'rant', which is 'love'. It isn't.
While 'like' has suffered incurable ambiguity of meaning, there is one word which has suffered an intensifying of meaning, frustratingly so. That word is 'love'.
Less than a century ago, the word 'love' could be acceptably used to mean a very powerful sense of friendship, such as the friendship between Frodo Baggins and Samwise Gamgee. could also mean familial love, or love as in 'true love', whether said love was true or not. Both of these meanings are still valid. However, the first meaning is now far too easily warped (though I could have a slightly biased opinion on the subject, having done osme of said warping myself... ). There is one other potential meaning, and that would be a feeling greater than 'like', yet lesser than 'true love', in varying degrees of greater and lesser. This meaning seems to be valid, but the meaning of the word itself has been intensified so I, at least, would not feel comfortable using it in that last sense, even if it were applicable. (Which it might be... ) This is extremely frustrating.
I suppose this was just a pointless rant, with no real conclusion, but I end with one question: For those of you who have read this far, can you find a word to describe that feeling greater than 'like' but lesser than 'love'?
PS Instantly assuming that a boy who is a friend of a girl is a boyfriend is extremely annoying, and I very much hope no one ever makes that assumption about one of my friends, as I tend to get along better with boys than with girls.
Love
Estelendur (AKA Esty) Posted Jan 4, 2005
Correction: The friend who is actually mentioned is not the one I'm waffling on whether or not to point him to this... thingy.
Love
Laura Posted Jan 4, 2005
The ancient Greeks had it right, with words for three different sorts of love. If my memory serves me right these were love in a religous sense, love as in true love and brotherly love, such as between family and friends.
I can understand your frustration, PSG and I admitted we 'liked' each other before we started going out. We both knew in what sense but it took a while to get over the embarrased confusion and use the correct term.
I also have a lot of friends that are boys, always have, but the only person who'd ever assume that they were anything other than friends and raise an eyebrow was my mother.
In my experiance, when it is love, you know, even if you don't realise it straight away. Between love and like, well, I guess there are terms such as affection and fondness unless you happen to be an ancient Greek.
Love
Estelendur (AKA Esty) Posted Jan 8, 2005
'Cause I've got a friend who says that I'm not really a friend, but not exactly a girlfriend, and I sort of feel the same way about him...
So, what were those words?
My friend whose name was removed, the one who caused the quoted conversation, automatically assumes that when I start spending an inordinate amount of time with some boy, I have a crush on him. She also teased me at one point because she thought I had a crush on my teacher (which I do not), all the while claiming it was someone else's opinion, and she was merely stating it for said person because they were too cowardly to tease me, or something. I have to confess I didn't believe her for a minute.
Oh, and that friend I mentioned, who 'likes' me? He's a year and a half younger than me, and says he doesn't want a 'girlfriend', in the 'official' sense, until he's in high school. At least I only have to wait two years! However, he says me following him around all the time doesn't annoy him in the slightest. (We're virtually in no classes together... )
Love
Laura Posted Jan 8, 2005
A close friend, I'd say
She's probably making it up for the sake of having something to tease you about I'm afraid, I don't think there's any point in paying much attention to her
My sister had a boyfriend at 11 (had as she was dumped on Tuesday), but there's certainly a big difference between that at 11 and say 16. I can see his point in waiting. I'm 3 1/2 years younger than PSG and it's not that long since I was at school.
Love
Estelendur (AKA Esty) Posted Jan 11, 2005
Yeah... So what were those words?
Well, the problem with this friend-who-teases is that she was practically my best friend for a while. (Now the guy I like is practically my best friend...) So I can't just ignore her or anything. We're still pretty good friends, too.
Love
Laura Posted Jan 11, 2005
Which words?
Friends often tease each other all the time, PSG teases me whenever I say anything logical and my best friend teases me whenever I demonstrate some understanding in maths
Love
Estelendur (AKA Esty) Posted Jan 15, 2005
The greek words you mentioned several posts ago...
Well, this particular friend has latched on to teasing me about boys. I can't think why, but it's all she ever teases me about, and it has grown very annoying.
Love
Laura Posted Jan 20, 2005
Agapao is love, philadelphia 'brotherly love' and philatheos 'lovers of god'
Some people do that, she'll grow out of it in a year or two I expect
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