h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

That was supposed to be "how're You doing now" have to 'preview'!!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!

So you're a Gemini boy then?

So, what did you get up to? Anything exciting? And, if you don't mind me asking, what milestone have we passed?

As for me, I've been ok. Found myself in a spot of trouble on the weekend, and have been a bit of a headcase these last couple of days...but everything's under control now. Apart from that things have been pretty standard down here...

...Today's my last day at work for a few days, so they're making sure they get their pound of flesh, so it's all and skittles here!

Another milestone on that long road to the 1/2 century mark....was 47 (chronologically at least). Not anything special - but, yes, a Gemini!

3 years til the big one then, hey?

My sister is a Gemini, so I love Geminis , which is terribly stereotypical I know, but what can I say, I'm a Capricorn !!

well hello there and welcome back me ...... lol

oh, i'm sagittarius by the way - half man, half horse - licence to shit in the street according to billy connolly

this week i have mostly been listening to ........... Weezer

Hey binky !!

Welcome back indeed !

I've been wondering where you've been...every once in a while I'd wander into your space to see if you'd been around, but...nothing...

So you're a saggy hairy a... Saggitarius then ??

One of my brother's is a Sagg, so I know all about you guys !!

So you're birthday's coming up soon then (Nov-Dec) right?

well hiya Tanz!

Every time i thought about logging back in, something else invaded my brain - like looking for inane comedy websites from my youth (Goodies, Rentaghost, etc) and I got sidetracked

But, I'm back now, and a serious knee injury means I get to spend a whole bunch of time surfing and no time working......which is nice (ish)

And yeah, my birthday's on the 1st December - when I reach the grand old age of 28

How the hell are ya?

Binky

about your knees !

I come from a family of dodgy knees, and I still have a limp becuase of my own useless joints ...

Apparently (I say apparently because I've never been to a doctor, but my brother and sister have, and pretty much everyone on Mum's side of the family has the same problem) there's a genetic thing where the kneebones rub into the inner ligaments in the knee, gradually wearing it away and making the knees more susceptibale ot injury...

...this could explain why I was pigeon toed as a child (and still am, mildly, on my right side, because of the limp )...

...Anyway, I'm glad you're back !

You're birthday's a couple of weeks before mine...at which point I will be starting my life as a 24 year old...and I can't wait !

24? god I feel old

Anyway, my knee probs aren't inherited or anything like that - I was playing football (soccer?) and merely tore the ligament falling over - as you do

As we speak, I'm putting on weight thanks to a combination of not being able to do any meaningful exercise, Draught Guinness in cans (curse you!) and pie and chips

It's a hard life

Man, you're not even 28, you're only a baby

(everybody knows that boys don't start growing up until they hit their 30s )

The first time I dislocated my knee I was 13...at softball practise...

...it was hilarious (well, it is in hindisght )), because I didn't get crutches until day 2, so the whole first day I was walking around using my parents...

...My mum's about 5'4", and my Dad's nearly 6 foot...

(I do hope you were cursing me, and not the Guinness... is my one true ...)

A baby eh? that would explain a LOT

Funny you should mention the crutches - thanks to our great NHS system I left hospital with maladjusted crutches - by which I don't mean they were hanging around with crutches from the wrong side of the tracks drinking and smoking - but, after checking my height, the nurse STILL managed to make them lopsided - no wonder I felt seasick

I'm sorry but I was cursing Guinness - not the drink itself, but the fact those crazy Irishmen put the stuff in easy to carry cans that makes it even more convenient to pour down your neck

My theory on boys is taht they stop growing (mentally, at least) at 13, and then don't start again until they hit 30...and some of them (or most of them, it would seem) don't get their second wind until much, much later...

I know crutches that hang out on the wrong side of the tracks, because I also hang out on the wrong side of the tracks, drinking and smoking...

The day I realised I loved Guinness more than I loved scotch was a real revelation for me...but I'm so happy !!

Jesus H........you mean i've got to wait until i'm 30 (or older!?) to get a vague idea of what the hell i'm doing on this godforsaken planet?

Should be OK though - cos I know a cut price offy that seels draught guinness in cans at a ridiculously low price - and, as I can't drive, I also know a particularly good mate (cheers fella) who'll do the drink run for me..............

I got another 2 weeks of sponsored hedonism - I don't want to go back to work!

You'll find that the reason that most boys attach themselves to girls is so they can learn how to deal with the world...

(Having said that, I was "dating" a 37 year old boy when I was 17, and we were very dangerously close to being on the same level !)

And there are a few exceptions to the rule, and then some that have matured to such an extent that they can get through until 30 without having to worry ....

...Man, I won't be able to get any more Guinness until...Wednesday I think...tonight it's just straight ...

If you want, you can tell me where you live and I can arrange for your holiday to be extended...as long as you don't mind a brief hospital stay...

Hospital's fine - i've spent much of the last 3 weeks there so I know all the nurses especially the one whose boobs my foot was between while her colleague plastered my leg

Hmmmmm.......anyway......

If anyone knows how to deal with the world - answers on a postcard to " Stick your head in the sand" Competition - usual address

What, was she keeping your leg still, keeping you distracted, or did she just need somewhere to rest them for a while...??

How to deal with the world...

...well, seeing as I am a girl, and a Capricorn...which means I am enlightened well beyond my years...I will tell you the answers...

1) Life is too short to worry about the opinions of people who do not matter.
2) If something cannot be solved by worrying about it, don't worry about it.
3) Life is about perspective, some of the worst things that happen can be the best things for our growth.
4) Bad things happen all the time to everyone. It's how we deal with them that determines the kind of people we are.
5) Beer.

All three, I think - but I'll tell you what - took my mind off it - torn ligament? distract him with an unnecessarily busty nurse..........

and, here's my top 5 points for dealing with the world:

1) Beer

2) Beer

3) Beer

4) Cheese on Toast

5) Beer

Works for me - as someone famous once said

I've used the cleavage distraction method a few times in pool...but only against mates...

...man, if I could get paid for it...all the beer in the world......

Cleavage is a much underused distraction method......i've tried it whilst playing pool but it never seems to work.....?

Unless you're talking about the old arse cleavage - that tends to put people off most things - pool shots, food, sex

I have no idea how boys could distract girls at pool...you'd just have to lick your lips and wink to distract a boy...just be careful it doesn't work too well...

And arse cleavage is very distracting...and thanks to the advent of things like hipsters, g-strings and baggy pants, it seems to be all over the place...

...I'm sorely tempted to travel with a staplegun and put peoples pants where they're supposed to be!