h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Me: Hullo can I check you have my correct address, as I haven’t received a statement for a couple of months?

Bank: Well madam, your address has been marked as 'gone away', so statements will not be sent out.

Me: Well my address is [abbreviated flat number] [building number] [road name]

Bank: well what we have is [flat number written out in full] [building number] [first 3 letters of street name]

Me: Well it didn’t appear like that on the last statement I received, it has somehow been corrupted. That will be why the postman has returned it to you. Can you change it back please?

Bank: certainly madam, can I ask for some digits from your telephone banking pass code?

Me: I don’t use telephone banking; I use your online banking. Can I change the address from there?

Bank: No madam and I cannot change your address without your telephone banking pass code.

Me: but I have just given you my DOB, mother’s maiden name and transaction history, and pointed out the typo in my address.

Bank: We could post your pass code out to you?

Me: !

And so it continued, apparently the online system with several layers of passwords is secure enough to move my money around, but not correct my postal address. Where as the telephone banking with a 5 digit pin is fine!

I could pop into a branch, but a UK bank that’s big enough to afford famous American’s to do the adverts is only big enough to have one branch in Glasgow!


Looks like I will have to resort to snail mail

At least you got to deal with a human.
What famous American?

Samuel L. Jackson. They have also had Donald Sutherland and Gary Oldman that I can think of but they are not American.

Samuel L. Jackson was the chap I was thinking of.

Actualy as well as Donald Sutherland and Gary Oldman they also had Anthony Hopkins, but he's a Brit as well!

Still I bet they all live more in the US than the UK.....

Incredible

I have my *little* money and *bigger* loans in a nearby small branch of a small local bank. I can walk there in five minutes or call by telephone and they know me and do the transactions I ask of them, no code needed. They even call me and tell me that I can keep the loans as they are, and that is a good business for them, but I could also do something else and pay less interest. During the last year I've paid 1.000 £ less in interest.

And ended something like this?

You can post me my phone banking pin but not my statements? Give me my freaking money and go shove yer phone banking up yer.......

ain't banks fun. Mine is the only bank in Scotland with only three branches - Edinburgh, Aberdeen galsgow. VERY USEFUL!!!

Zantic

*surprised* Donald Sutherland is British?

Canadian. He did spend most of the sixties on British TV though.