This is a Journal entry by Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 1

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

It has come to our attention at the smiley - thepost that all those other, inferior news sources are managing to make their audiences feel overwhelmed and anxious in the face of all the 'urgent' stories that aren't.

Therefore, here is a roundup of the more important news stories of the week, free of cant and/or interviews with double-talking political spokespersons. Read, draw a relaxed breath, and get on with more important things, such as weeding that flower bed or ordering the sunflower seeds.

The week's news, courtesy of the denizens of Planet Earth:

Category: Vocabulary Building

1. A Twitter user has introduced a new expression: 'treasonous illiterate kumquat.' We refuse to speculate as to the object of this new description, although some Twitter users claimed to wonder how in the world they'd lived without this expression ere now.

2. Merriam-Webster, the ever-helpful US online dictionary (not the OED, but in there pitching), reports that its most-searched word or phrase yesterday, 19 May, was...wait for it...'nut job'. (Or 'nutjob'.) Lookups of this term increased 173,750%, according to the site.

Why, you ask? Oh, that's easy. We quote:

"I just fired the head of the F.B.I. He was crazy, a real nut job," Mr. Trump said, according to the document, which was read to The New York Times by an American official. "I faced great pressure because of Russia. That’s taken off."
—Matt Apuzzo, Maggie Haberman, and Matthew Rosenberg, The New York Times, 19 May 2017

We have learned two things from this statistical anomaly:

a. Encouragingly, US citizens are educable - at least to the extent that if they do not know a word, they look it up.

b. Apparently self-evident expressions are apparently LESS self-evident that one might suppose.

Category: Stretching Your 'Fifteen Minutes'

Yesterday, Fox Sports reporter Emily Jones' interview with a baseball player was photo-bombed [look it up in your Merriam-Webster] by a baseball fan. The fan? George W Bush.

Category: The Awesomeness of the Dutch

Until two days ago, the world at large had no idea that King Willem-Alexander of the Netherlands was a professional airline pilot. He's been flying for KLM (the 'K' stands for 'Royal') for 21 years. He didn't give up his day job to become king in 2013 - and he's now training to fly bigger jets. Story here:

http://www.metronieuws.nl/nieuws/binnenland/2017/05/buitenlandse-media-verbaasd-over-vliegende-koning

We want King Willem-Alexander to fly KLM to Dulles and make the whole US government look like a bunch of amateurs - which they are, anyway, see above.

Category: Truth in Advertising

A refreshingly honest cat adoption ad from Melbourne, Australia, has gone viral. Among other things, the lady from Cat People of Melbourne wrote, 'I have been ordered to say that Lord Bigglesworth believes he was put on this earth to be decorative and be worshipped by his human slave.'

http://www.npr.org/sections/thetwo-way/2017/05/19/529135011/will-someone-please-adopt-this-utter-bastard-of-a-cat

We can always count on the kittehs to bring Earth News back to the positive side.

Keep smiling, friends, and remember to pet your cat.

smiley - dragon



Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 2

Prof Animal Chaos.C.E.O..err! C.E.Idiot of H2G2 Fools Guild (Official).... A recipient of S.F.L and S.S.J.A.D.D...plus...S.N.A.F.U.

in all countries "the lunatics are running the asylum" gets closer to reality each daysmiley - wahsmiley - wah


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 3

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - laugh

I am now an addict of Trevor Noah's Daily Show, I got to see all the images of which you talk (except for the Australian cat).

I knew what a nut job wassmiley - eurekaas I live in close proximity to Grimsby (NOT in it). I also know what a kumquat is, in fact I have been to a factory in Corfu when they farm, create and market all things kumquat-flavouredsmiley - drool (I still have a bottle of kumquat liqueur from that lovely place). I am disappointed that gorgeous little fruit is being compared to that horrendous puffed-up peacock of a chap.smiley - yikes

I always pet my cat. I don't consider myself her slave, we are just companions and I do all her housework and provide her with food because she can't. I rather think it's dog-owners who are slaves when I see them passing my house in the pouring rain, diligently allowing their four-legged friends to stop and sniff the garden gate and wall posts. I feel pretty damned smug that I don't have to walk my cat twice a day whatever the weather.

Thanks for the update, I always miss something...smiley - biggrin

GB
smiley - galaxysmiley - cat


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 4

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - snork Your comparison of dog and cat slavery was very enlightening.

smiley - hug Thanks for the feedback! Yeah, Trevor Noah's a blessing. We appreciate him.

Just one question: What's wrong with Grimsby? smiley - bigeyes


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 5

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

I think this fits here rather well:
http://www.engrish.com/wp-content/uploads//2017/05/various-types-of-dread.jpg

And our dog refuses to go outside when it's raining.


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 6

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - rofl


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 7

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

[What's wrong with Grimsby?] it would be easier to list what's right with it. Basically it's the armpit of England, not somewhere you'd plan for a holiday. Cleethorpes, where I live, is a lot nicersmiley - island but because they are connected, other worlders confuse them and presume they're the same place. It's annoying, so I correct people as often as I cansmiley - biggrin


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 8

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - rofl Good for you! The Tourist Board should play you for this vital service!


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 9

Amy Pawloski, aka 'paper lady'--'Mufflewhump'?!? click here to find out... (ACE)

smiley - biro

Cleethorpes has GB, which is the main reason it's a stop of mine on the way to Wandrin's. And evidently that's where I'm having fish 'n' chips 'n' mushy peas, as well...


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 10

Superfrenchie

I spent a school year in Grimsby once. The people were nice.


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 11

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

That's probably because you were so nice, they couldn't help it. smiley - hug


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 12

Galaxy Babe - eclectic editor

smiley - okthere are nice people and some not so nice, depends where you go.


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 13

Superfrenchie

yes, that was the impression I had. smiley - ok


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 14

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

I believe by now you have all already seen the kumquat using a Palantir?


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 15

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

Was that the sword or the orb? smiley - rofl


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 16

Tavaron da Quirm - Arts Editor

The orb. smiley - rofl

I love the pictures http://www.boredpanda.com/funny-donald-trump-the-orb-tweet-reactions/


Gheorgheni's Helpful News Summaries #1

Post 17

Dmitri Gheorgheni, Post Editor

smiley - rofl Mine was something like, 'Oh, great spirit of the orb, grant us extreme Awesomeness!'


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