h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Some years ago, I created a couple of Liffs over at liff.comegetsome.at and they are not very good. Except Nanpantan. But I thought I'd copy them over here too, for archive's sake. Here goes:

Hoton (n.)
The feeling that you really ought to enjoy the current situation a lot more. (E.g. party, visit to the zoo, rock concert, ride in amusement park)
You are not having a bad time, in fact things are quite all right, even amusing, but you should, really, have a whopping good time.

Tyringe (n.)
The sensation of being a complete outsider, even after formally belonging to a community for many years. Sensation triggers, e.g. walking into a room/class re-union/parent-teacher event and getting zero greetings, zero "How are you, have a seat", zero nods in your general direction.

Rothley (n.)
Distance to Pub. Defined as the distance where the ambivalence whether to go to the pub or not reaches it's absolute maximum. The distance is extremely variable, and depends on many factors, such as the darkness of roads, the comfort of current location, decisiveness of people in company, and quality of the potential pub. The distance is always short enough to walk, and the time it would take to call for a taxi, wait for it to arrive and complete the ride is always longer than the walking time.

Ashby de la Zouch (n.)
The mood described as a mix of annoyance and sympathy, and a bit of haughtiness, that comes over an audience when a particularly violent and unexpected sneeze is heard at a very solemn occasion (such as royal weddings, classical concerts including world famous artists, and Nobel galas)

Barton in the Beans (n.)
State of mind, of parents with children in the Wysall phase.

Loughborough (n.)
Being unable to spell a word, but claiming your version is correct, referencing obscure and/ or invented sources.

Lund (vb.)
Battling an inferiority complex by assuming an 'I'm better than thou' attitude. E.g. my town may be smaller than yours, but at least we have a University, and it's founded by Canute the Great, so there!

Nanpantan (n.)
The pale skin, where time and gravity has created folds unaccessible to sunshine.

Quorn (n.)
Something which is purposely and recently created to be quaint. It never really works out though.

Rempstone (n.)
The tiny, crushed pip of a raspberry, lodged in your molar tooth.

Wysall (n.)
A development phase all children are obliged to go through, before being allowed to get to grips with reality. Prolonged Wysall is known to have made grown men cry.

Heh, some of these are pretty good. I think my favourite might be Quorn.

I can identify with Hoton...

Me too, Mala, I remember this Hawkwind gig...

Loughborough is very accurate