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Gaaaah! They're not showing Tron on TV this afternoon just cos the Pope's speech overran! What is the world coming to?

Once again my Easter is marred by religion. Poor show.

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Latest reply: Apr 20, 2003

Deep Psychosexual Trauma

Hmm, well, got up this morning, had something to eat, checked the post (my tickets for next month's SFX convention have come through - I'll be near the front of any autograph queue I care to join - so it's a pity I don't care about or have never heard of any of the guests, except for Christopher Lee, who I suspect won't be signing), had a look at the paper...

...and the photo on the front of the TV guide caught my attention. Long, lustrous, brunette hair, long eyelashes, full pouting lips. Mmmm, hel-lo, I thought to myself, I wonder who that can be?

Turned out to be Pete Burns, the ageing Scouse disco-punk rocker. The fact he's an old friend of my old friend Joe Twohey does not make me feel in any way more comfortable.

Really should get out more.

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Latest reply: Apr 19, 2003

Lust For Glory: The Horror Continues!

Okay, just a quick (this is a lie) round-up for the dozens of you who love to read this stuff (sarcasm). I've stayed out of the way of the heavy brigade as I'd be wasting their time playing them right now, this may change once I finish the Tomb King army I'm halfway though putting together, dependent on its success.

Played three games against the same opponent recently, my old adversary Richie (the history of the epic battles between his Skaven and my Orcs are recounted somewhere down the page), using a quite nasty Empire army.

In all these games we took virtually the same armies:

I had a Black Orc (that's an uruk-hai, film fans) warlord leading a big mob of his subspecies, backed up by one mob apiece of Orcs, Savage Orcs, Boar Riders and Night Goblins (with the essential inclusion of fanatics). Support took the form of some Trolls, a chariot, some bolt throwers and a Giant.

Richie took an Elector Count leading a squad of greatswords (musketeers in support), a regiment of musketeers, a regiment of spearmen (freikorp and halberdiers in support), some scouts, some pistoliers, and some knights. Backed up by a cannon and a volley gun.

In game one I had the worst luck of my gaming career. Apart from generally bad dice rolling this mainly took the form of a total inability to kill his knights, whether it be by scaring them off through terror, shooting them with bolt throwers, or charging them with my usually absolutely lethal general. Having said that it was a surprisingly close game until this last turn or two.

Game two was an improvement, although my tactic to keep my shaman hidden from Richie's snipers was made rather pointless by the way he exploded the first time I tried to use any magic. Hmmm. the game on the whole went much better, mainly because Richie deployed his scouts on my doorstep - which meant I got into combat (and out of the firing line of his artillery) very early on. The Giant crushed the knights underfoot and ran off towards the enemy lines just as the Trolls marmalised some musketeers and broke through on the other flank. The Black Orcs got shot to pieces on the way in but were still able to clobber another unit. The only letdown really was the Boar Riders, who made a stately tour of the board edge arriving just in time to beat up a lone unarmed wizard. A very close game but probably tending my way.

Game three - an historic occasion, the first time I've won with Orcs and Gobbos without my Black Orcs getting into combat! The reason being that they got shot up horribly by musketeers and ran off without striking a blow. Everything else went pretty well - Trolls and Gobbos sorted out the cannon, and on one flank the Giant (ably supported by chariot and boar riders, and able to use terrain to hide from artillery) routed or destroyed everything in his path, winning me the game. The image of him jumping up and down on the crumpled figure of the Empire General is one I will fondly recall in darker moments. The only dampener was the imperial knights clobbering the Trolls and a unit of Orcs (partly due to me mucking up my tactical movement) and proving ominously immune to goblin fanatics. But they were pretty much all I had to worry about at the end of the game, and I'll settle for that.

I'm not sure whether or not to stick with this army till the Tomb King's force is ready or give us both a change by trying my Khornate army against the Empire. Hmm. Cast your votes below...

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Latest reply: Apr 17, 2003

In time of crisis... is good to know the BBC, the nation's broadcaster, has all its assets and resources well in place to cover unfolding events both at home and abroad.

But while not good, it was certainly interesting to see the Beeb's gnome-like Chief Political Correspondent Andrew Marr wandering around outside Vauxhall tube station yesterday morning, talking on his mobile and looking harassed (ambushed, like the rest of us, by signals failure on the Victoria line).

Being a complete tourist and easily star-struck I would've said hello and bigged him up a bit but he looked rather too grumpy to welcome being disturbed by a soujourning geek-yokel. Eventually he wandered off in the direction of the bus stops and was never seen again (except on live national TV).

Who needs Popbitch with incandescent celebrity gossip like this being made available for free...?

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Latest reply: Mar 19, 2003

24 Quid A Seat

Off to Smoketown for three days (well, rather less than two in reality, Monday afternoon to Wednesday morning). If nothing else, good practice, as far as the city's transit system goes, for my trip to the 2003 SFX Event in May.

Managed to find tickets to Phantom of the Opera on Monday night, although obviously far from prime ones (and my missing the first 15 minutes due to brain failure and poor map reading didn't help). The most technically impressive and accomplished stage show I've ever seen, with a great performance by the bloke playing the Phantom (no programme, sorry), but rather more singing than there were songs. Will need major work doing on it if the movie version is ever going to get made.

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Latest reply: Mar 19, 2003

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