Drivel to distraction
THIS BIT ISN'T DRIVEL
IF YOU DON'T DO ANYTHING ELSE USEFUL TODAY AT LEAST VISIT The Hungersite AND
FEED A FELLOW HUMAN
Is there anybody there?
The only way to get one
is by trying very hard
and the only way to keep it
is to never be off guard
To prevent it ever fading
don't leave it in the sun
and only use it seriously
never just for fun
You must polish it on Sundays
taking care to make it shine
but don't bring it round to my house
it could get confused for mine
I'll deny I've ever had one
never have and never will
if you'd started searching years back
you'd be looking for it still
Not only is it hidden
and cleverly disguised
but I never ever bought one
cos they didn't do my size
...I'd had a hard day at work
Beware of purple elephants
but why? I hear you say
They block the aisles at Tesco's
and will not move out the way
They hang around the freezers
and use pizzas for a game
and once your dinner's trodden on
it's really not the same
Beware of blue hyenas
who always upset folks
They try to steal your shopping list
and laugh at dirty jokes
Beware the red rhinocerous
He's really rather large
and if he sees you buying GM foods
you may get overcharged
Beware the speckled puma
She's been seen again of late
She pounces at the check-out queue
and asks you for a date
You can buy some fresh pink salmon
cod fish fingers or some trout
unless you live in Dover
where I'm told they're all soled out
Do not listen to the green baboons
block your ears and run away
or they'll sell you life insurance
and a time share in Pompeii
Ignore the men in white coats
as coolly as you can
cos if you're drivel to distraction
then they'll put you in the van
Today I noticed the label in my underwear says "KEEP AWAY FROM FIRE"
well thanks for that timely advice. There I was about to stick my bum in a furnace.
That's certainly saved my blushes.
Conversations
| Conversation Title | Latest Post | Latest Reply |
|---|---|---|
| Arranged marriages | Dec 4, 1999 | Sep 2, 2019 |
| Chicken/Egg | Oct 9, 1999 | Sep 16, 2003 |
| curse of the rain cloud | Oct 3, 1999 | Aug 13, 2003 |
| So What brought you all to H2G2? | Nov 7, 1999 | May 22, 2000 |
| Colours! | Nov 19, 1999 | Nov 26, 1999 |
Jim Pooley
Researcher U95740
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