h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I don't think that's quite true Ev. It's only murdering people that's illegal. If the dead body is your property you can do with them what you like (except possibly have sex with it. I think that's illegal). And who's to say who a dead body belongs to? They're not going to argue.

Well, you could look at it that way. I was kind of assuming that the customers would still be alive though, otherwise they wouldn't be causing much trouble.

They might be.
Lying around the place causing people to trip over them.

Oh, and smelling really bad.

But they're in Sweden.

Best place for them.
Don't want any dead bodies round here cluttering up the place.
It's bad enough trying to find spaces for all these books, without worrying about dead customers.

Would it be acceptable to chop up the dead bodies and bury them if they were lying around, making the place untidy and/or dangerous?

Well, I would. I've even got a patio to bury them under.
Good for the worms.
Wouldn't you?

I think it would depend on whether or not I'd killed them.
If I had, then it might be worth digging up the patio.
If not, I think I'd probably just call the police.

You'd call the police what?


(I know, put me out of my misery now.)

I'd call the police Dave. Or Brian. Or Algernon.

Even if they were women?

WPC Brian is a very good friend of mine. Mind you he's Alice only at the weekends.

We'd better call him then. Or her. On the offchance that EV ever finds a dead body in his house.
I'd just use it as a door stop until it started to smell.

That must get confusing. What if I find a dead body at the weekend?

Hide it under a blanket until Monday?

Oh well it's monday now so can bring out the dead.

I suppose that gives me the rest of the weekend to bury it.

If you're going to bury it, that must mean you killed it.

Now that's not true maybe EV has got a job as an undertaker or gravedigger.

That's true I suppose.
If so, can you bury some bodies for me?