h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

I'll start...

Fred stared at the computer screen, desperatly searching himself on what to write. He wanted to look cool infront of his new web friends, but yet he didn't want to blow it by looking like a complete fool who was trying to look cool.

As he clicked away rabidly at the keybord with the slow and stedy humm of the celing fan and the soft glow of the computer moniter. He relised that this was hopeless. Why was he spending all his time on the computer now? Was he adicted to it. He shut it down and turned on the light. Perhaps he should clean up a bit. ford and Midnight Ice were coming over soon, and he didn't want his old friends seeing him like the wreck he was. This day time thing was not working out for him. He rubed his blood shot eyes and squinted in the light.

"Maybe i should just go back to bed." He mermered. But it was to late now. A car just drove up outside.

---Now you guys pick up from here and do what ever!----

That car was filled with a bunch of freds ol' friends, just back from boot camp, sweaty, hot and willing to get to bed. But ford wanted to get on the comp. Addiction? maybe... But ford needed to see if the letter had come!

im too outta it to write anymore...
cheers
dead burnt and PROUD ford

Ford and the other sweaty boot campers let thems selves into the house and passed out in the hallway. All but Ford, who marched into Fred's room and hopped right over to the computer.

"Hey," said ford as the coputer booted up, "Whats up?" Fred grunted in reply and shuffled out to the kitchen to get a snack. He couldn't get there though because of the large pile of lifless bodies on the hall way floor. He turned around and looked at Ford.

"Why are there dead people on my nice clean floor? They're geting it all sweaty and gross!" Fred yelled angrily. Ford cassually spined around on the rolly chair and answered, "We just got back from boot camp. And they're not dead, there just... well, ok... some of them might be dead, but it doesn't matter. Oh! By the way do you know if my letter came yet?"

"What? What do you mean boot camp!? It doesn't MATTER???!!! DUDE THOSE PEOPLE ARE SWEATY,GROSS, AND COULD BE DEAD AND YOU DON"T CARE?!"

"I do care!" Ford assured him, "I just need to see if my letters come yet." He spun back to the computer, leaving Fred thourowly confused. Just as He was about to ask, "What letter?" and "Why didn't ford go home to his own computer?" Midnight Ice, stumbled through the door.

"Ford? Lil Fred? There are dead people in the hallway, I just walked over them and none of them woke up."

----Ok I'm sleepy an that's all I have. it may be a bit dumb but oh well... you go.

nah, thats better than me....

Ford stared at the screen "there,uh, boot camp patrons!... dont blame em if theyre daed!"

fred just squirmed around, looking as if he might die himself " DEAD PEOPLE ON MY clean FLOOR!!! *sigh* Im gonna get a snack." muttered fred as he left into the haway.
"whatcha doin?" asked a confused midinght ice

k im tired aready, tae it away!

---that wasn't even a whole paragraph! You get tired to easily!

K I'm gonna wait for midnight ice to add a para graph to the storry before I write anything else.---

ok, sounds good!.... i cant write worth taffy!
cheers
soon to be dead ford

"Hacking the FBI," replied Ford nochalantly, chewing on a piece of toast. She finished, and rather reluctantly dragged herself into the kitchen to go and get another one, stepping over the dead bodies in the hallway as she went. Fred looked at them in disgust.
"What the hell was Ford thinking?" he said, half to himself and half to Midnight Ice. "Bringing all these damn dead people in here... what are my folks gonna say when they get back?"
But Midnight Ice didn't reply - she was already deep into the dark caverns of FBI secret files and completely absorbed. "Hey, Fred... check this out - the FBI discovered the secret of life from those Roswell aliens ages ago and they NEVER SHARED IT WITH ANYBODY!"
Ford chose that precise moment to return with about twenty-three slices of toast piled up on Fred's mother's best china plate. The china plate and the toast all went crashing to the floor as Ford heard the news.
"The meaning of life?" she said hypnotically, her eyes fixated on the computer screen. "You mean, they actually have the Ultimate Answer to Life, the Universe and Everything?"
Fred was staring at the shards of his mother's best china plate, perhaps wondering what his mother would say when she came back and found that not only was her hallway full of dead, sweaty boot camp members, but also that one of her best china plates was gone forever. But even he couldn't resist the interesting discovery that Midnight Ice had just made. He moved his way around to the computer screen too.
"So, they know the Answer?" he asked.
"No," said Midnight Ice, a small smile spreading over her face. "Not the Answer. Everybody knows that the Answer is forty-two. No, these people have gone one step further - they actually have the QUESTION."
Ford gasped and fell over on to a dead boot camp member. "Th-th-the Question?" she stuttered.
"Yes," said Midnight Ice, her whole body trembling with excitement. "The Ultimate Question to Life, the Universe and Everything is..."

"... what the?" The computer chose that exact moment to crash. The screan flickered then whent black.
"NOOOOOO!" Wailed Fred Angrily, "Curse you second age technolagdy! I knew we should have upgraded!" He kicked the computer fearsly and the side cofering poped off. Not only were there dead people in the hall, and brocken china on the floor, but now, and busted computer on the desk. He cursed under his breath.
Midnight and Ford exchanged glanses. They both carfully backed away from the raving, steeming, peed-off, cursing, mess, that Fred had become. They took 2 steps out into the hall, then clambered over the dead bodies and bolted out the front door, (of corse stopping by the kitchen for some toast though)
They stood outside panting, in the humid hot, southern heat. Ford turned to midnight with a surpressed grin and asked "Wanna come by my place and use my computer insted?"
Midnight lauged and the two of them walked to their cars, ignoring the muffled yells and cursing from the inside, doomed Fred. Theywould see him tomorrow so it was no big worry, it seemed like he was having a bad day today anyway, so it was best they stay far away as possible.

(er...)

The next day, after trying and failing to re-hack the FBI mainframe abotu fifty times, Ford and Midnight returned, like all sensetive, caring people do, to see how their buddy Fred was coping.
He was fast asleep on the carpet of the lounge, using the broken computer monitor for a pillow.
"Hey," said Ford, shaking Fred gently by the shoulder, "Wake up, dude."
Fred sat up as though Ford's arm had been a cattle prod. His eyes were glassy and his hair stuck up in all directions. "Whassat?" he asked in a barely intelligible mumble.
"We couldn't find the Question again," said Midnight, her face trying to control her disappointment. "I think it's gone."
Ford decided it was high time that she cleaned all the dead people from Fred's hallway before the poor guy had another nervous breakdown. Midnight and Fred could her her whilstling merrily as she loaded her dear departed boot camp patrons into black plastic garbage bags.
Fred indeed did look as if he were about to go crazy again, but Midnight took him by the shoulders and shook him roughly.
"Now you listen to me," she said, sternly. "If we're going to find the Question again, we're going to need your help. And we can't have that unless you are 100% sane. OK? Are you with Ford and me or not?"
Fred seemed to come to his senses. "Of course I'm with you two," he said. "Count me in!"
He scrambled to his feet, suddenly full of energy, and strode out into the hallway where Ford was just loading the last bulging garbage bag out the back into a Dumpster. Midnight followed cautiously.
"Let's go get this Question, then!" he said happily - finally he had something worthwhile to do.
Ford grinned and closed the back door, dusting her hands on her jeans. "Great! You're in!" she said.
Suddenly, and rather heroically, she pulled out three jetpacks from her backpack which was lying against one of the walls and handed them out to the other two, affixing one to her own back. Without another word, they all blasted off through the roof of Fred's house, raining down plaster and electrical wiring onto Fred's mother's precious (and very expensive) Persian rug. Fortunately, Fred didn't care, because with where he'd be going, he didn't think his mother would be able to find him. And plus, at least the hallway was free of all those dead people now.
"OK," yelled Midnight, barely audible as the wind rushed furiously past them all, "Ford and I planned our route last night! Tell him where we're going, Ford!"
"Our first destination," screamed Ford as they reached higher and higher altitudes, "is..."

...Area 52!"

"What?!" Both Fred screamed, not sur if he heard her right.

"You know," Ford yelled her mouth getting dry from the air that was rushing into it, "The place where the government suposedly keeps The 'Aliens and the mermaids' All the weird stuff like that."

Fred took a moment to think about this then yelled back, "but IO thought that was called Area 51!"

"No, no, no!" Midnight said with a smirk, "Thats what they WANT you to think. It's actually area 52, the WIP just set up the whole area 51 thing so that people wouldn't get suspicuas."

"WIP? Wow, I must be really off on my alien facts. I always though it was area 51 and the MIB (Men in black)."

"Oh you poor confused thing," Midnight said sympathetically, "That was also a set up. It's not the Men in black, it the woman in pink! Any way, that's where we're headed, because that's where all the weird stuff is kept, so maybe we'll find a clue there!"




~Hahaha! Woman in Pink! Hahaha! Area 52! Hahaha! Get it? sorry. I crack my self up.~

The jet packs had just enough fuel in them to get them to the middle of an anonymous desert somewhere in Kansas. Ford, Fred and Midnight touched down just as the sun was beginning to set. They were all tired, windswept and hungry. Fortunately, Ford was prepared. She pulled out three tents, some matches, some water and some freeze-dried camping food out of a bag she very convieniently had on her. In about three seconds, the tents were set up, there was a fire crackling away and their dinner was beginning to hydrate itself again. As the last wisps of sunlight faded from the sky, the three of them sat around the campfire and discussed what they were going to do the next day.
"The Women in Pink," said poor, confused Fred, shaking his head. "What do you think they have to tell us?"
"Probably nothing," said Ford, finding a stick and skewering a marshmallow on it. "We're not even supposed to know that they know the Question the the Ulitmate Answer of Life, the Universe and Everything. And if they know that we know that they know, we'll all be in very deep trouble. We'll need an alterior motive if we're going to get in there without being caught."
Fred was clearly thinking very hard. "If we're going to get in there and fool those Women in Pink," he said, "then we're going to need a pretty damn good excuse. And I don't know about you, but I'm not really in the mood for thinking of one right now. No, I say that we do what they always do in the movies - pretend we're one of the Women in Pink."
All three of them shuddered at the thought of wearing pink.
"Well," Midnight said finally, after several seconds' awkward silence, "when in Rome, do what the Romans do, I guess. But where are we going to get" - she shuddered - "PINK clothes? My whole wardrobe is black."
Ford, as ever was prepared for this. She reached down for her increasingly handy plot device of a bag and pulled out three pink suits, with WIP embroidered in white on the back.
"My mother used to be one of the WIP, ages and ages ago," she said. "I found these in the back of her cupboard. They might be a bit outdated, but they'll probably get us into Area 52 without a second glance."
Ford then proceeded to pull out a complete ground map of Area 52. She spread it on the other ground so the other two could see.
"See... here is where we get in," she said, "and this" - she pointed with her now bare marshmallow stick - "is where the secrets about everything are kept."
Fred and Midnight looked at Ford in amazement.
"Ford," said Midnight, looking puzzledly at her, "if your mother was a WIP, why didn't you ask her about it?"
"Oh," said Ford, "that never occurred to me. Oh well."
The three of them spent the rest of the night planning, and finally stumbled off into their tents for a much-needed sleep. In the morning, they got ready, packed up, and finally started off for Area 52, which was a short, 1km walk away. They had no idea that what they would find there would change their lives forever...

"but FIRST... who wants WAFFLES?!" said ford, bouncing aroud with a pan full of store bbought waffles. "er, YA! lets have waffles! waddabout you fred?" midightice tapped fred on the sholder... "WHOESAWAZZITI!!!???!! I DIDNT DO IT! I SWEAR!"
ford and midnight stood there looking at the confuzed fred.midnight wispered to ford "i TOLD him he shouldnt have had second helpings of those pangalactic gargle blasters! *sigh* oh well GET UP!" midnight was slaping freds face rappadly. "dude! your gonna give him brain dama... um never mind! here use this" ford pulled a bucket of ice cold water out of the never ending bag of junk. watching as midnight ice gave a rude awakaning to the drousy fred, ford packed up and reluctantly put the horrid pink suit on *shudder* "ug!... ok lets go!" rallied fred.
the three freinds walked towards area 52 until.......

....suddenly it hit them. The wall that is. The 3 had been so pre-occupied with complaining about the horrid pinkness that non of them notice the hevily garded/semi-transparent wall that stood in front of them.

"OUCH!" they all yelped as they smacked their faces into it. It took them a few seconds of thinking and rubbing their heads before they figured it out.

"OooooooooooooooOOOOOOOOOoooooooooooh!" Cried Fred suddely, reaching out his hand to feel the wall, "It's invisible! Ahh! So you can't see it! Ha! Hoopy.... now how do we get in?"

Ford smiled, and reached down into her bag (Which had now been transformed into a cute pink purse, thanks to the sewing kit she had brought along) she pulled out a six foot ladder. Fred and midnight both raised their eye brows.

"Uh? Ford? How on earth do you fit all that crud in that small puse?" Midnight asked.

"Tis the transfingure of the mind and the brain dear sister." Ford said airily. Fred and midnight took a giant step backward from Ford. She was getting weird. They leaned the laddar up against the, what seemed to be, air, and walked up it one by one. This was a little unerving, because it looked as if the ladder would fall over, through the clear wall at any moment.

When they got up ontop of the wall, they looked down the other side and were blinded by "pretty pinkness". Pink walls, pink floors, pink stairs, pink uniforms. As they all stood their getting queezy from all the pink, two giggling woman in pink crop-tops, mini-skirts, and high heals walked up.

"Like Oh my gosh!" The tall one shreaked, makeing Midnight, ford and fred spin around in fright.

"What are like you gals doing here?!" the shorter one squeeled in a high pitched voice that made Fred wince.

"er... we... work here." Ford said nervously.

"Like wow. Are you gals like, from that, like group of agents that got totally lost in space fighting those icky aliens and stuff 2 years ago?"

"Uh???" Ford answered.

"Like that's so cool!" Said the tall one, "No ones seen you dudets in years. We totally need to catch up on things!"

"Um...?"

"Like yeah," said the short one, "they've given us all sorts of like, cool new gizmos and stuff!"

"Oh... well...?"

"OH MY GOSH!" The tall one shreiked, pointing at Fred, "It's a guy! Like wow! Normally we have to sneak guys in here. Men can't be trusted fighting those totally icky aliens! But Wow!"

Fred stared in horror and tryed to hide behind Midnight.

"Like oh my gosh," Said the short on to the tall one, "We need to give them something so he feels welcome."

"Yeah!" She answered, then turning to Ford, she handed her something, "here, it's acid nail-polish. It's reall pretty and stuff, but like DON't put it on your nails! It eats stuff! It'll help you."

"And here," said the short one said handing Fred a silver earing.

"Oh, thanks," he said peerinh at it, "and what super-natural power might this object have that will help me save the world?"

"Oh!" She giggled, "Nothing! But I DIG guys who wear earings!"

Midnight and Ford exchanged glances. Sudenly the tall girl turned away, and said, "excuse me I have to take this call," and slipped off her pik shoe and started talking on it.

"Whats that?" asked midinght ice.

"Oh just a shoe phone" answered the short woman.

"Thats funny, I didn't hear it ring." Said Midnight.

"Well of coarse not silly, it's a SHOE phone!"

"Well how did she know it rang?"

"Silly, we can't have an argument about the ring of a shoe phone!"

"well what else do you want to argue about," asked ford mockingly, "Barbie and Kens break up?"

At that moment, the talk woman walked back again, "Ok, gang, i just spoke with head qaurters, and i told them about you guys, so they told us that theres only one thing left before we get you, like, on your new mission................MAKE OVER!!!!!!!!!"

Midnight chose that exact moment to sink to the floor in a dead faint. The thought of these pink bimbos getting their hands on her wild, unkempt locks and bleaching them platinum blonde was clearly too much for her to take.
"Like, why did she just do that?" asked one of the WIPs, curling a lock of candy blonde hair around her little finger. She tilted her head to the side, and stared pensively at the heap of pink on the floor which was Midnight. It looked like the thought was causing her brain difficulties. Ford and Fred exchanged nervous glances.
"Uh... it's, like, a reaction to, like, being back on Earth after so long," said Ford, who was evidently finding the addition to all of these "likes" to her vocabulary painful. "She, like, does this all the time, like."
"Oh, like, that's cool," said one of the WIPs. "Well, we'll, like, just go and get you some more gizmos and gadgets and stuff, so, like, wait right here, okay? Toodles!" She and the other WIPs walked off like Reese Witherspoon in Legally Blonde.
Ford and Fred exhaled loudly the moment the bimbos were out of earshot. "What the hell are we going to do now?" asked Fred. Down on the pink floor, Midnight began to stir. Ford and Fred helped her up - she was slightly woozy after her collapse. "Did those pink freaks just say "makeover"?" she asked, slurring her words a little.
"Uh, yeah," said Ford. "I can't believe the government trusts these guys to run the intelligence of the country! I mean, they hardly have any intelligence themselves!"
Fred was considering this. "Actually, that's a pretty smart move on the part of the government, if you'll pardon the pun," he said. "Letting people this ignorant handle national secrets this big, it works out very well for the government. These brainless bimbos won't have a clue what they're doing, and as long as they don't break a nail, they should do their jobs perfectly well."
"Hang on," said Midnight, whose sense of which way was down was fast returning, "that'll make bluffing our way in way easier."
Ford shook her head. "They've got to have at least one intelligent being here somewhere," she said. "Just to make sure that the WIP stay out of what doesn't concern them. That's who we've got to fool."
One of the blonde WIPs chose that moment to return, carrying over her arm an enormous, bulging pink bag. "Like, they told me to bring you inside," she said, beckoning with a perfectly polished finger. "So, like, follow me!" She gave an excited sort of squeak, and toddled off to one of the bigger of the pink buildings. Two frosted pink glass doors slid apart, and the trio caught a scent of some kind of perfumed airconditioning before they were ushered inside by a burly bodyguard looking very uncomfortable in a pink suit and matching pink shades.
"Like, we're right in here," said the WIP, pushing them through one of many pink doors. She followed them, closing the door with a snap and an unnecessary giggle.
Ford, Fred and Midnight felt their jaws drop. Sitting at the head of a very long pink boardroom table was...

...a cat. Fat, fluffly, and blond it sat on the end of the table wraped ing pink, vevet blankets. It had a bowel of what looked like, tuna infrount of it.

"This is our leader, like, she's incharge and stuff, and like, she'll like, be the one giving you guys your, like make-overs!" Said a different WIP, who nobody hadnoticed yet because her pink cloths blended with the pink wall.

Fred started to scream, "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" and ran back, slaming head first into the closed door behind them. He scratched and banged at it pathetically. He had had a bad expirience with a cat when he was young. He didn't understand why the animall scratched him up so bad. All he wanted was the kitty to take a bath with him. He got scrayched up terribly and had to go to the DR. Then they got the cat de-clawed. But the the thought of this pink cat, clawing away at his face, trying to aply lipstick was to much. To add to this horror, the cat talked.

"Hello, Agents" said the cat. Fred calpsed, from fright and shock, "I am not a normal cat." Ford and Midnight stared in horror. Fords Face turned blue becaue he forgot to breath.

"I am from the planet OTh," The cat streatched and the pink blanket fell off. On it's back were two hot pink wings! A flying, talking, pink cat? This was too much! Ford callapsed. She hadn't remembered to breath yet and callapst from lack of oxegen.

"Ok, time for the make over then?" A WIP aske the cat, It answered wit a perr, "Yes."

Midnight fainted at the use of the word "Make over"

They all lay there unconsious, and when they finaly woke up, they were horrifed to find....

"NO! NOOOOOO!!!" Screached fred as he looked in the mirror.... "my lipstic doesnt mach my eyeshadow!"
midnight slaped fred back into his scences.

"what the zarquan!" ford had just woken up and saw a mirror... "i think i might faint again... in fact" ford fell over in a dead faint

"alright we're one of THEM now... so lets not freak everytime we see ourselves in...*gulp*... pink or ... *shudder*.... makeup!" midnight spoke slowly, asthough she might up chuck that mornings waffles

"uhha wa make up? lala" ford was still dilerious

"AH! Like i see you guys like woke up! HEHEHE!"

fred, midnight and for all spun around, wich was hard on them because of the nacious pink surroundings.

"well! like whats going on?" ford, having experience talking in 'likes'

"Like, this is your dorm room silly!" replied the pink agent
"And like, your dinner will be like at 6, k?"

"like ok thanks!" as the pink agent turned away, ford looked as though a giant slug had came in the room and exploded...

"UG! DINNER?! here? no!" said fred, with the same look as fords

"like could you imagine like eating with these like, PINK people?"

midnight and fred stared at ford for a while

"um, maybe ford was brain washed?" wispered midnight

"I HEARD THAT!... CRUD!... imean.. like... i so heard that!..." ford said

"dude! whats going on!?" quipped fred, looking verry pretty in his pink suit and makeup

ford held out a finger at the corner of the room.
fred and midnight both saw the reason that ford was acting so pinkish

"cameras?" breathed fred

just then.......

...the camera exploded.

"Ha! Knew that would come in handy some time!" said Ford. Midnight and Fred stared at her.
"Mind-concentrating technique I learned from my guru. Just think this way... "there is no camera"."
Fred and Midnight caught each others' eye, and were both thinking the same thing... "Ok then... Ford's gone insane."
"Hey, but at least I got rid of the camera, right, guys?"
"How did she know what we were thinking?" said Fred to Midnight through telepathy.
"It's another little handy technique I learned from my guru!" said Ford, brightly.
"Look," said Midnight out loud, "this is just getting weird. First you blow up a camera just by concentrating on it, and now you're reading the telepathy that Fred and I developed secretly while you weren't looking? What's going on, Ford?"
Ford began to look desperate. "Uh... nothing... my guru..." she stuttered, her eyes raking the room madly for some sign of escape. Her whole body tensed.
Fred got a strange look on his face, as though he had worked something out.
"Ford," he said, looking her straight in the eye, "how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?"
Midnight looked at Fred as though he, too, had gone insane. Fortunately, Ford stopped her from voicing her thoughts on Fred's sanity by suddenly exploding. Pieces of her flew everywhere, sparks flashed and there was a loud bang. The two still left unexploded ducked as debris scattered around the room.
"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?" screamed Midnight at Fred. "Did... did Ford just..."
She looked completely confused.
"Aha," said Fred, "that wasn't Ford! That was a WIP robot planted in our room to get at our plans. These pink-clad bimbos are smarter that we thought."
"Huh... wha..." stammered Midnight, completely dumbfounded. The explosion of one of her friends had come as a big shock, and now the news that the person who had just appeared to them as Ford wasn't actually Ford was an even bigger surprise.
"So.. what do we do now?" she asked, once her grammar had sorted itself out.
"We go and find the real Ford, stupid!" said Fred, in a friendly manner. "These ruthless pink women must have her tied up somewhere, gagged with pink duct tape! Come on!"
With a swift judo kick, Fred broke the door down, and the two of them dashed out, looking left and right for any sign of either their lost companion or their enemies, the WIP. Swiftly the pink corridors raced by on either side of them, until suddenly they came to a dead halt, flat against the wall and breathing hard.
"Hey, Fred," said Midnight, gasping for breath, "I was just thinking - how did you know that asking the woodchuck question would explode the impostor Ford?"
"Well," replied Fred...

"its fairly complex... unless you consider... SHHH!!!"
midnight looked around "WHAT!?" she wispered
they looked at the clock... 5:59
"dinner is soon!" fred looked uneasy "midnight, we... midnight?!"
midnight was nowhere to be found... "dont panic! dont panic!" ran through freds mind.
then, a hand streached out and grabed his sholder!
"AAAAHH!!!" "shut up!" "whozzat?!" "me! idiot!" fred was relived to see midnight ice standing in her 'sassy' pink suit...
"where did you go?" asked fred, looking royaly confuzed
"i was here the intire time smart one!" said midnight ice, looking at the clock. the time now said 6:01
"uhh... how much wood would a wood chuck chu..." midnight ice stared at fred who was reciting the deadly poem.
"im not a robot! we gotta get to dinner!"
"diNNEr... rIght" squeeked fred
the two made their way to the dinning room, only to find a bunch of 'cute' little cafe tables that made fred and midnight ice queasy.
*GASP*! "hey! midinight ice! fred!... where were you?"
ford waved to her friends....

"Ford - how much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?" said Midnight quickly.
"What the hell are you talking about?" said the obviously very real, unexploded Ford. "These people might not be the brightest in the Universe, but they sure know how to cook. They even put an extra special sauce on my food, just for me! Ask them for some, too - they might give it to you as well."
"Ford," said Fred, "where were you?"
"I've been right here in the cafteria! Why, where did you think I'd be?"
"It's just... oh, nothing," said Fred, whose stubbornly hungry stomach was growling at him like his mother would when she came home and found pieces of plaster littering his house. He grabbed a garish pink tray and joined the queue. Midnight, also as ravenous, followed suit.
"I'll get us a table, guys!" called Ford, as she headed into the sea of chattering pink.
"I get the feeling there's something she's not telling us," said Midnight to Fred.
"You're right, I feel it too," said Fred. "Considering we just found out the WIP had sent in a person pretending to be her, and had them explode all over our room..."
"So, you're sure this Ford's not an imposter too?" asked Midnight.
"That's definitely the real Ford," said Fred, "the woodchuck question didn't work on her, and that's the only thing that could disable a spy agent. I'm sure of it."
"You still didn't tell me how you knew the woodchuck question," began Midnight, but Fred cut her off with a brief "shhhhh!". They had arrived at the counter.
The lady behind it was wearing a pink uniform and doling something that looked suspiciously like pink mousse on to the pink plastic plates of the WIP agents that were heading off.
"Gimme some of that, with some... uh... "special sauce"" said Fred, winking at her.
"Sure, love," said the lady, giving him a knowing grin and squirting some pink liquid over the pink wobbly stuff she had just dumped on Fred's plate. She pushed it across the counter to him and he stood aside and waited for Midnight as she colllected her dinner, also with the "special sauce". They headed off together to find Ford and her table, which proved a little difficult, considering they were looking for a person dressed in pink in a pink room full of other people wearing excatly the same shade. Eventually, they located their comrade and slid into the booth either side of her.
"Hey, you found me!" she said. "Sheesh, take forever, why don't you! I was waiting for you so we could start our dinner together! Oh well, you're here now."
All three of them dug in.
"Hey, this is actually pretty nice for a lump of pink goo," said Fred.
"Must be the 'special sauce', I guess," said Ford.
They waited for Midnight to chip in her thoughts, but when they looked across at her, half her plate of goo was gone - she was that starving - and she was swaying from side to side, her eyes glassy.
"The... sauce..." she gasped. "It's.. poison..."
Ford and Fred stared at her, and then down at their own dinners, which were also about half gone. Suddenly, Ford felt a clenching sensation in her stomach and also began to sway. Beside her, Fred did the same. Midnight slid sideways on her seat, already unconscious. Ford followed, and Fred was the only one left conscious for long enough to see three people who were actually wearing black, and looking suspiciously like cliche FBI agents, right down to the black sunglasses, picking their way through the crowds of pink towards them.
Then everything went black, and Fred, too, was unconscious.

Every thing was hazey as ford looked around... "well this is getting repetitive! Just for once, id like to go for atleast an hour before being blacked out!!" She looked at the clock.... 5:30... "WHere are the others? More importantly, where the hell am I?"
"your friends will join you shortly!" a voice from behind squeeled
"Wha? hozzat! uh... who is that??"
ford turned around only to find the pink winged talking cat...
"Ok kitty, can i go now?"
"NO! You arnt a real agent at all! Nor are your friends! Your spies! Probably from men in black! Our absoulute enimies! And your here to find out the ultimate question to the ultimate answer of life the universe and everything!!..."
"uh... DUH... except the men in black, they dont exist you know but everything else was right on the do..."
"SILENCE!!! your loud mouthing will do you no good here... ah! Agent 149! so glad your here!" said the cat turning to its new subject.
"you wanted to see me?" Agent 149 was a small blondehair blue eyed girl about 20 years old, but ford saw something else about her.
"yes, it seems we have two more spies in the building! I want you to give them the secret sauce when they go to dinner, when they pass out, bring them to me! MUAHa.. squeek!... ahem, pardon me!"
the agent first looked at the cat, then at ford. the bottle of pink ooze in the bottle was in hand, she turned and left.
"NO WHAT ARE YOU GOIUNG TO DO!!! LEAVE THEM ALONE DAMNIT!" ford just realized that she was straped to the chair that she was sitting on.
"damn straps" ford cried in a furry of cussing and struggle...



sorry i cant finish, im in class and i gotta go