h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

Alway remember though, that little speck on the map may, or may not be something you may or may not want to entirely recall. And if you are uncomfortable, then you do know something others don't. This something isn't always dark and secretive, but sometimes, it tends to get you in trouble with those who don't understand. Then again, if you're uncomfortable, you could always have a unneccesarily large ankle brace a full arm cast for a fractured wrist.

See, I believed this speck to be nothing more than some sort of insipid spot of Intergalactic Thousand Island dressing, on a fat space trucker's intestinal bulge.
Kind of like the coffee ring you leave, and that you have now idea how it ended up on the bottom of the cup.

What is so interesting about this "speck", (Deemed Psuedo-Experiment #948132- rounded to the nearest decimal point), is that in all actuality, we are just another form of parasite, feeding off of someone's prized garden. (That's a boat load of Miracle Gro.)
We are just too stupid to realize that every million years when the Meteor Shower comes, that it is actually some perturbed Arnold Palmer Alien Look-A-Like, urinating on us from the "Grecian for Men" Galaxy.

P.S. I like fuzzy slippers.

Will Robinson

Ah, on the subject of fuzzy slippers, how would one go about wearing them in spite of society without becoming too much a fashion eyesore? I understand that many have tried but the last person who did ended up being drug about the sand of Imperial Dunes by means of a rather large (and very strong) contraceptive tied about his upper lip. Some day it may come to pass that we may have to end up wearing these rather large contraceptives in order to keep or skin from falling off in puddles of liquid gooieness.
P.S. You scare me