h2g2 The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy: Earth Edition

[Y2K, Vader mask down] Come with us to the Dark Side, where we can rule the H2G2 as soon as we succeed! Remember, evil will always triumph, because good is dumb! [extends hand] Join with us and you can learn powers which you could never counter as a Good Guy! Go to our side, and be all that you can be! Go to the Good Side and be all that you are told to be! I want YOU!

[Cut to an "I want YOU!" poster but with Darth Vader instead of Uncle Sam. The four clones (Y2K without his Vader getup) are standing in front of it]

[Y3K] Looks good, eh, Y2K?

[Y2K, proud] Yes, I made it myself!

[YC] You should use it again.

[Y4K, snidely] Oh, don't worry, I don't doubt we'll be making this exact same post whenever he wants someone to join the Dark Side.

Gavroche! I am so impressed. You managed to smile while completely frozen! I didn't know that was possible. You've got to teach me sometime.

In case the villains cry foul...

And thanks for keeping me unfrozen while I was away...it's my greatest pleasure to return the favor.

we will soon have him frozen again...

only a matter of time!!!

...

[All four clones] Oh yeah!

BS: Isn't it great, Gavroche, that they seem to have a hatred for you surpassing their hatred for me?

G: Hunh?

BS: Well...that didn't come out exactly as I planned...the great thing is they weren't able to freeze me too, so I was able to unfreeze you. What would we have done if they had been able to freeze both of us?! Sure, rely on the other superheros, but it seems they must have busy 'real' lives. Just look back in our forums, Gavroche. How often have I unfreezed you, how often have you unfreezed me? How often have we been unfrozen by someone else? A couple times, yeah...but it seems...

*sigh*

G: I know what you mean...we have to be careful...Once they start seeing this, they may get suspicious. I mean, if they also realize that you joined the Superheros force after I had remained frozen for a fairly long time...I had been fished 7 times (21 fishes)!...after I had posted cries for help on the Superheros boards and received no response. If they notice this...and that the first thing you did was unfreeze me....they just might get suspicious! I mean...they could also notice that your joining the superheros force was almost instantaneous after your arrival at H2G2. They might get mad too, since the second thing you did was fish all the villains, and then I did the same....of course, we were only two, but it was enough for some of them.

BS: Gavroche! SHUSH! I think your speaking in my post will make them even more suspicious! I don't think they would have noticed without your jumping in! Heck, some of them think I'm a woman...as if there is no such thing as a male swan! (Bad enough that many don't believe black swans exist...even worse they think all swans are female! How do they think we reproduce?) Anyway, they'd never have made the connection.

G: I'm getting tired, Black Swan. I have a real life too. I want to participate more in this University of Life thing H2G2's developing, write a lot of guide entries. I have ACE duties as well. I am going to have to leave the Superhero business to you.

BS: You know you can't do that. I'll lay it on the line...even if the whole world's watching. If you stop being a superhero, I stop being a superhero. And then what happens? Look at my page! The only forums I've posted to are the superhero forums. It's what I am!

G: Hmmm, you're right...I like you Black Swan...I don't want you to die...perhaps you can become something else...I just don't have the energy for this fishing and smiling anymore. There are other superheros...they will have to battle the villains themselves.

BS: Okay. As you are well aware, I understand you more than anybody else. I await your decision on my future duties. Should I inform the other superheros, or should you?

G: Oh, bother, do we have to repeat all this mess? Perhaps you could just post a link to this msg in one of the forums. Oh, and Black Swan, make it clear that while I was a superhero for less than 3 weeks, I had a lot of fun, and enjoyed it immensely.

BS: If I link to this post...then you've already said it...

G: ahh yes, so right.

[Y2K] 1024 FISH!!!

[Y3K] Isn't that overkill?

[Y4K] Nothing worse than YK did.

[YC] Let's hope he doesn't do 1024 LINES of fish next time!

am i to take black swan's last post to mean that he is both gavroche and black swan, and he is no longer going to be a superhero? or is this all an elaborate ruse?

[Y3K] BS is probably just talking BS.

[The others laugh; Y3K doesn't seem to get it]

[YC] There's something y about all this...

Ok...I didn't suspect the confusion, and suspicion...perhaps I should have.

You're right...that is what BS was implying...I created him, and we are retiring for the moment from the Superhero business. Maybe we might return someday in the future...but we have other fish to fry right now, so to speak.

Not only was he implying it, it's true. I verify the fact.

[Y3K] So BS /was/ talking BS!

lol. i still don't believe it. super zeroes can't be trusted.

OK OK. I'm sorry for not unfreezing you, but I was frozen. We were all frozen!

Don't go forever! Maybe we should propose a moritorium on piscine violence for a while. Everyone appears to have lost interest. The pages take so long to load, and there are other parts of the community.

Who do I vote?

Umm...the point of that somewhat disjointed post was to say that I understand, if that wasnt apparent...


But still, if you dont support the celery, who should CHOPPERS vote?

[Y2K] A Bad Guy.

[Y3K, nodding] Yeah. That's a bad idea.

[Y4K] Don't you mean a "good" idea?

[YC] You know him, he's got nothing good.

OK....I will keep in touch...though I am not sure how much I can participate. I understand several people were frozen at the same time I was...which is another reason I knew there was only one way to get out of the mess....devious...devilish...but it worked.

I'll vote for Celery...just smother him in peanut butter. That might not even be necessary. Let me review the candidates and get back to you.

[Y2K] I'm not voting. I'm not old enough.

[Y3K] Yeah, you were created three months ago.

[Y4K] In a trance.

[YC] In a tank.