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New location...

I've moved most of my day-to-day ramblings to my blog, which you can access at

I thought I'd spare the guide some of my ravings....I have to maintaing respectability around here, you know smiley - cool

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Latest reply: Mar 24, 2004

They f*** you at the drive-thru...

So I'm sitting in the McDonald's drive-thru, minding my own business. I'm not looking for confrontation, or material, or anything but a damn burger...but it doesn't matter. You can't escape it, folks.

I place my order and pull around & as the young lady working at the window leans out to take my money I can't help but read her name tag. It says "Shaniqwa". Yes, that's's not a typo. Shaniqwa.

I thought the same thing; the guy with the label-maker was either retarded or ran out of room. Still, I had to ask her...I gotta know.

"Pardon me, but is that really how you spell your name?"

(quick glance down at the nametag to make sure) "Yeah."

"And you pronounce it Shah-knee-kwaa?"

"Yeah. Four thirty-seven, please."

I'm sure at some point I must have just given her the money and driven off, because I was at home eating fries when my head stopped hurting from the stupidity. There is not way I'm the first to notice this; the girl had to be at least 16. She would have no answers, I'm sure...but the questions remain.

In what known language on the face of the Earth can a "w" follow a "q"? None that I've ever seen. That's like naming a Chinese boy "Leigh". Who would not know this? Who would do this to a child? Why hasn't anyone spoken up? Why does this happen on my watch?

Look, people; if you're just gonna string a bunch on consonants together to create some stupid name, at least try to follow the rules of the damn language your using. It's obviously already too late for some of you, but do it for your kid...please.

smiley - ok

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Latest reply: Feb 23, 2004

More recycled crap, please...

I turn on the radio today (mistake # 1), and I hear to my dismay (but not my surprise) that Sheryl Crow is doing that old Rod Stewart song. I know this is probably not news to most of you guys, but I'm usually pretty good at avoiding these kind of things.

Great. Fine. That's what I need; my 15 year-old niece raving to me at the latest family gathering about "the new (insert any recent top-40 mutilator of any classic tune) song? Then I have to try and explain to her how it's actually an old (insert real rock star here) song, and watch her squint her eyes & cock her head to the side while a name she'd never heard before () flies in & out of her little MTV-hollowed head.

My point is, write a f***ing song, people. Your own song, not Rod Stewart's, or Led Zeppelin's or even freakin' Def Leppard's, for chrissake (I really thought I ws hallucinating when that one happened). Not for me; not anymore...I gave up all hope for you people on the radio & the MTV years it for the children. They don't know any better, any nowadays with all the shit flying at them from every conceivable kind of media, it's getting harder & harder for them to care to learn. Kids today don't give a flying shit about rock & roll history - much less music history - and you're not helping. Do you realize that Carlos Santana is going to be remembered by a whole generation for that shitty song he did with that idiot from Level 42 or whatever, while remastered copies of Abraxas sit on the shelf? Do you give a shit? No, you don' wanna be a rock star.

Well, that's all well & fine, kiddies...but you can't have your cake & eat it, too. Thanks to idiots like you, being a rock star don't mean all that much no' more. When's the last time the music industry produced another Springsteen, or Dylan, or Hendrix, or even Rod f***ing Stewart? I don't mean just somebody who can sell a million records & fill a stadium, we've all seen that any idiot can do that; I mean somebody who made a mark - somebody whose music will be around forever. Been a while, ain't it? And ya' know what? Somethin' tells me it's gonna be a while longer...

Oh...and I got 2 words for Sheryl Crow: Kevin Gilbert. Now that guy might've been a rock star...

smiley - ok

Discuss this Journal entry [1]

Latest reply: Feb 22, 2004

Top Six Lists #2

Top Six Things I Still Don't Understand at My Age:

6. Long Division

5. Pokemon

4. How to do laundry

3. Why Wynona Ryder is famous

2. The thing with you women and the shoes

1. Football

smiley - ok

Discuss this Journal entry [3]

Latest reply: Feb 20, 2004

Straight eye on the queer guys

In this entry (and in all subsequent ones), I will refrain from constantly using the qualifier 'in my opionion', since this is, after all, my journal, and everything contained herein should be understood as such already. So just hear me out...

I'm watching this show, 'Queer Eye for the Straight Guy', and basically what this show is telling me is that unless I buy some houseplants, some frilly shirts, and some really banal-looking art, that I'm doomed to be either alone forever, constantly laughed at, or generally shunned by society. Now, maybe I'm exaggerating a bit, but ONLY a bit.

I don't care about the theme of the show; I could care less who's gay & who's not - that's not the point...not exactly.

The point is that this is a load of crap. These guys aren't helping anybody; they're taking guys who already obviously have a low self-image (else they would care less about what some other idiot thinks about their wardrobe), throwing out everything they seem to care about, dressing them up as some wierd proto-sexual cariacature of themselves, and parading them around like so many debutantes at some society ball.

'But they're making people feel better about themselves...look how happy those guys are at the end of the show', you say?

Fine. If that patches up these guys' insecurities for a few minutes, then I'm glad...but I'm pretty sure the reason they felt they needed a change in their lives in the first place wasn't originating from their closet or their bathroom mirror, even if they thought it was. And they aren't the only ones happy when the show is over.

'Then why do you watch it...just to criticise it?', you say?

No...and yes. I watch it because it was on TV & the remote was too far away. I criticise it because I can. I just think it sends the wrong message (just like most of these makeover shows); that you have to dress yourself up for other people to be accepted.

The reason this one strikes a cord in particular is because of the sexual element, I suppose. It's like we've gotten to the point in our culture where we are SO worried about being tolerant of subcultures & minorities that we've taken it to a ridiculous degree. We will now actively allow certain minorities & groups to make fun of larger segments of the population, but the reverse is anathema.

Personally, I want to be able to make fun of everybody; especially the goofy blond member of the 'fabulous five' that claims to be the fashion expert, yet dresses like the bastard son of Herb Tarlic & Ralph Furley; yet no network would ever greenlight a show where I ran around laughing at gay men's clothing. Somehow, though, gay men can laugh at mine all they want.

Not that I really care, but my point is that if we can still only laugh at whichever group is politically correct to laugh at, then we really haven't gotten anywhere. It's all or nothing, folks.

And, on a smaller note, if you're a straight guy and so down & out that you need a stranger to come in, throw out all your clothes, laugh at your decor, and chop off your hair...just get a new girlfriend.

smiley - ok

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Latest reply: Feb 18, 2004

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Mike D'Anna

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