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Anyone else still awake?

Just because I am. Awake. Still. Again. Awake.

Discuss this Journal entry [31]

Latest reply: Jan 21, 2006

I'm a contradiction

I hurt

I hate you all, you're pathetic

I'm lonely

I miss you all, I'm pathetic

I hate myself

None of you understand, none of you know me

I dont know you

You know me too well

I'm unclean, a libertine

And every time you vent your spleen

I seem to lose the power of speech

You're slipping slowly from my reach

You grow me like an evergreen

You've never seen the lonely me at all

Without you I'm nothing

Discuss this Journal entry [24]

Latest reply: Oct 20, 2005


I cant find my placebo live in paris DVD

Its not in the case, or in a different case, or in the *random things found in the DVD/CD player* pile

I think I might have lent it to someone and they may have forgot to put the actual DVD in the case

though that was a while ago

But, unless I find it I might have to revert to listening to Papa Roach

so help me find it!!!

smiley - erm

Discuss this Journal entry [16]

Latest reply: Oct 17, 2005

An interesting weekend

smiley - erm

I'm just recovering from it actually

not sure wether interesting is the right word, it started off really badly since I was just fed up of life and the world and decided it woulde be a great idea to get blinding drunk smiley - erm so I did the best I could with the resources I had, then when I ran out I decided to search further afield for more. smiley - erm so you see you can tell how fed up and pissed I was because I sortof wandered down the road in the dark and found this really tacky bar type place, which was playing some phsyco pop type music I dunno what it was gwen stefani or something as annoying anyway. Having managed to persuade the bartender to serve me this random irish bloke pops up and starts talking to me in in a really cheery voice asking something like can he catch up

me: smiley - erm you can do whatever you like

Random irish guy: smiley - biggrin great I'm in the mood for getting drunk

me: smiley - erm ok whatever

Random irish guy: so whats your reason for coming to this sunny happy place?

me: well you probably shouldnt talk to me I'm a bringer of doom and depression, and I have loads of issues, oh and I'm american and gay so yeah

Random irish guy: Well I have no particular problem with gays or americans. And dont we all have problems, I mean I have two ex wives for crying out load and a child by one of them i'm in a custody battle over

me: really smiley - erm you seem very optimistic about life

random irish bloke: well its the only way to live isnt it you cant let life get you down

me: smiley - erm well thats easier for you to say

Random irish bloke: well you know us irish sunny disposition, remember we're the original terriorists aswell smiley - biggrin we have lots of issues!

me: smiley - erm ok

random irish bloke: my names patrick by the way, now werent we getting drunk?

smiley - erm at this point things start to get a little blurry

but I remember I did get quite bloke, and everything this guy said seemed quite funny, but when I got into the extremely drunk stage he walked me back to my house (still grinning alot, he did seem to like grinning, I wonder if hes an axe murderer smiley - erm)

anyway, he wrote his house number on a piece of paper and told me to ring him some time if I wanted to go for a drink

smiley - erm I said thanks in a sort of non commital way

and that was my interesting weekend


Discuss this Journal entry [10]

Latest reply: Sep 19, 2005

What the .... is happening to me?

So far tonight:

My skins burning up and sore and itchey

I randomly shiver for no apparent reason every now and then

I have a really bad headache. I've taken co-thingmybob aswell, co-codamol? dunno, anyway took it a couple of hours ago and I still have a headache, though admittedly I dont feel like my heads being hit with an axe rythmically now. I have alot of drugs in the cabinet because docs prescribe them and I stubbornly dont take them. I could do some serious overdosing smiley - erm ANYWAY....

*feels forehead which is also burning up*

someone said depression can make you hormones go weird and make you come out with stuff but I dunno, anyway open to suggestions


Discuss this Journal entry [23]

Latest reply: Sep 14, 2005

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~*}Black Angel{*~

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