Anyone else still awake?
Posted Jan 21, 2006
Just because I am. Awake. Still. Again. Awake.
I'm a contradiction
Posted Oct 20, 2005
I hate you all, you're pathetic
I miss you all, I'm pathetic
I hate myself
None of you understand, none of you know me
I dont know you
You know me too well
I'm unclean, a libertine
And every time you vent your spleen
I seem to lose the power of speech
You're slipping slowly from my reach
You grow me like an evergreen
You've never seen the lonely me at all
Without you I'm nothing
Posted Oct 17, 2005
I cant find my placebo live in paris DVD
Its not in the case, or in a different case, or in the *random things found in the DVD/CD player* pile
I think I might have lent it to someone and they may have forgot to put the actual DVD in the case
though that was a while ago
But, unless I find it I might have to revert to listening to Papa Roach
so help me find it!!!
An interesting weekend
Posted Sep 19, 2005
I'm just recovering from it actually
not sure wether interesting is the right word, it started off really badly since I was just fed up of life and the world and decided it woulde be a great idea to get blinding drunk so I did the best I could with the resources I had, then when I ran out I decided to search further afield for more. so you see you can tell how fed up and pissed I was because I sortof wandered down the road in the dark and found this really tacky bar type place, which was playing some phsyco pop type music I dunno what it was gwen stefani or something as annoying anyway. Having managed to persuade the bartender to serve me this random irish bloke pops up and starts talking to me in in a really cheery voice asking something like can he catch up
me: you can do whatever you like
Random irish guy: great I'm in the mood for getting drunk
me: ok whatever
Random irish guy: so whats your reason for coming to this sunny happy place?
me: well you probably shouldnt talk to me I'm a bringer of doom and depression, and I have loads of issues, oh and I'm american and gay so yeah
Random irish guy: Well I have no particular problem with gays or americans. And dont we all have problems, I mean I have two ex wives for crying out load and a child by one of them i'm in a custody battle over
me: really you seem very optimistic about life
random irish bloke: well its the only way to live isnt it you cant let life get you down
me: well thats easier for you to say
Random irish bloke: well you know us irish sunny disposition, remember we're the original terriorists aswell we have lots of issues!
random irish bloke: my names patrick by the way, now werent we getting drunk?
at this point things start to get a little blurry
but I remember I did get quite bloke, and everything this guy said seemed quite funny, but when I got into the extremely drunk stage he walked me back to my house (still grinning alot, he did seem to like grinning, I wonder if hes an axe murderer )
anyway, he wrote his house number on a piece of paper and told me to ring him some time if I wanted to go for a drink
I said thanks in a sort of non commital way
and that was my interesting weekend
What the .... is happening to me?
Posted Sep 14, 2005
So far tonight:
My skins burning up and sore and itchey
I randomly shiver for no apparent reason every now and then
I have a really bad headache. I've taken co-thingmybob aswell, co-codamol? dunno, anyway took it a couple of hours ago and I still have a headache, though admittedly I dont feel like my heads being hit with an axe rythmically now. I have alot of drugs in the cabinet because docs prescribe them and I stubbornly dont take them. I could do some serious overdosing ANYWAY....
*feels forehead which is also burning up*
someone said depression can make you hormones go weird and make you come out with stuff but I dunno, anyway open to suggestions