Oh L'amour, broke my heart now I'm waiting for you ...
Posted Oct 13, 1999
Oh L'amour, what's a boy in love supposed to do?
Yes, although I am married I find myself falling in love with my best friend's girlfriend's sister (or should that be the sister of my best friend's girlfriend?). What is a guy supposed to do in this situation? I mean, I still love my wife and I'm still *in* love with her but I have fallen head over heels for this other girl, Karen.
Ah, if only I was the kind of guy who would have affairs, or at least the kind of guy who can get away with them.
Karen is so sweet and pretty. She has beautiful eyes, a sweet succulent mouth. She has a great body with large boobs. Plus our personalities connect so well, we can talk for hours even when drunk (which is strange, because I find it hard to talk at all when I get drunk!).
She is living with this fat, ugly, meathead of a guy. All testosterone and motorbike fanaticism. He works the entire weekend, goes out drinking with his mates on week nights, leaving sweet little Karen on her own and lonely.
I have been infatuated with many women but only ever been in love with one (my wife) until now and I have no idea what to do.
God, my life sucks!
Just a spoonful of sugar ...
Posted Sep 1, 1999
Oh, what a terrible life we must lead! I, I who have nothing. Having just been paid, and suffering from an overdraft the size of a small countries national debt, I find myself wondering if I will be able to save enough money to go out on the 18th. It's doubtful. I'm just glad I don't have any children. Then I *wouldn't* have any money and my wife would love someone else more than me. *sob*
I could really do with a complete change in my life. Change in relationships, change in location, change of everything.
The only reason to want to come to work is leaving.
The truth about cats, but not dogs ...
Posted Aug 17, 1999
Cats are evil, really evil. Honest. You have to understand that I have two (not my choice) and I do like them (Well, they *look* cute!), but they are evil.
Contrary to popular opinion, cats do not like humans. They enjoy the food we give them and they need affection sometimes but they don't like us. If there were some other creature stupid enough to feed them KiteKat and scratch them behind the ears once in a while, they would rather be with them, not us.
If you have a cat and you died and nobody was likely to find you, a cat would only wait so long before using your remains for food. A dog would lie down beside you and die of starvation before take a nibble from you, it's esteemed and beloved owner.
Cats will piss and shit everywhere if they felt like it. They will scratch every piece of furniture you own. No plant will survive unravaged by your cute, tiny ball of fur and you will never, ever get a moments peace if that cat wants to be fed. They will meow, they will purr, they will jump up and sit on your face until you feed them and NOW!
Cats are evil. Period. Own one at your peril because the little buggers can live up to 30 years. 30 Years!
What's it all about, Alfie?
Posted Aug 6, 1999
A truly deserving question. What *is* it all about? You are born, you go to school, you go to work, you retire, you die. Is there no break to this endless cycle? I have considered the idea of maxing out all my accounts, my credit cards, selling everything (even *sniff* my computer) and getting huge loans and then sodding off to Bali or somewhere equally out of the way.
I have several ideas on how to construct a new identity, I could do all that, slip off to the backwoods of America or the Australian Outback and no-body would ever know where to look (I would have put Canada on there too, but it's too cold for too long a time during the year. And Russia, warm areas, can't speak an ounce of Russian except "Teknologia dos proviadsa(sp)" which means "Vorsrung durch technik" and I have *no* idea what they mean in English).
Anyway, I can't put too much on here, otherwise people would be able to backtrack everything if I did go ahead with it.
Until next time, take care of yourselves aaannnddd each other.
*and the crowd erupts* Jerry! Jerry! Jerry!
One fine day ...
Posted Aug 4, 1999
Well, here we all are again and by all I mean me, of course. Yesterday was boiling hot, today is boiling hot, tomorrow is, quite surprisingly, going to be boiling hot. What does this have to do with anything? I'M AT WORK! I can't bloody well appreciate it!
So many skimpily dressed girls, so many short skirts and crop tops and I can't see them. I suppose I'll have to wait until saturday when it will probably rain. They all be wearing bloody sweaters and jeans and scowls on their faces.
Boy, do I feel depressed now.